Chuck
Well-known member
Anyone experienced the same thing when your beloved pets passed?
As some of you already know, my most beloved dog (who was very much the most loving son I can ever ask for) and soulmate Mickey passed last May. While many of you already know with my numerous Chuck threads, I have dealt with depression for the past 20+ years. With his love and support, I was able to deal with a lot of negative emotions and he gave me the feeling of security. Like the pillar of my life who even got me through a semi-suicide attempt where he cried and begged me to walk away from the window.
The moment he passed in my arms when he was euthanised because of severe lymph cancer, my legs went numb and I fell on the ground. I mean I've cried when other dogs in the family died before, but this time, I felt a deep scar in my heart (that still haven't healed). The months and days leading to his death, he stared at me with those 100% loving eyes like he wants to go on cause he had nothing but love for me.... but he knows his body can't go on. The memories of him staring at me all night when I was sleeping beside him, and the day before he died when he looked straight at me with those loving eyes and wanted to say goodbye... I've got to say, memories like that, as precious as they are, haunts me to this day. I can't stop thinking how much I miss him and how he will forever mean everything to me.
As hard as it is for someone my age to admit, I have cried every night since his passing.
Sorry about getting a tad out of topic, just wanted to give you guys a little background.
I currently place his ashes in my display cabinet at home where I placed a lot of his memoribilia (photos of happy times, figures of his birthday cakes, his leash, etc).
Now I am don't normally believe in the paranormal, and sometimes I wonder if I am just going crazy out of grief, but at times I can't help but feel like he is still around.
I have two cats at home which I take care of with my wife. Like the next night I brought his ashes home, late at night, I was talking to him (like how anyone will talk to their loved ones in front of their grave), and my cat rubbed himself on my leg and wanted attention. Out of nowhere, I heard small banging sounds (Mickey was always the jealous type) coming out of the cabinet. First thought was, oh I am just going crazy, but the next thing I noticed, the same sounds actually startled the cat.
The other time, during his birthday, I was alone at home and bought him a birthday cake (first birthday without him by my side) and lit the candle. Sang happy birthday, and the very moment (I mean less than a second) I finished, I sensed a small breeze that blew out the candle. Of course I wasn't scared, but yeah, took me by surprise.
Most recently, when I cried in front of his urn, I asked him to give me signs he is still there (I know this may freak some of you out... I understand). When I am alone, figurines of cat will get knocked over, and out of nowhere, a picture frame I took a long while to put his painting in (felt like a reminder to me?) tipped over. Like stuff that never happened before his passing.
I get how my family will be concerned cause they very well know me and Mickey have always had this unconditional love for each other. Can't say I am entirely religious, but my parents knows people who have practiced Budhism for a long while. They claim that all lives are meant to be reincarnated, and by me and Mickey not letting go of each other, I am letting our undying love affect his afterlife where he just doesn't want to go when his ashes are still with me. I've already heard the same thing twice from different people, but recently, it's actually making me feel rather guilty. Am I really doing this to my best friend? I still haven't decided what to believe, but one thing's for sure. When he died, a part of my spirit did as well. I haven't been wholeheartedly happy since. A lot of people are telling me to spread his ashes somewhere that means a lot to us, but I am honestly not at all prepared for that. The very thought of losing him again and "neglecting" him... I really don't know. Doesn't feel right to me either.
I am just curious. Have any of you faced something similar with a beloved dog/cat/person?
As some of you already know, my most beloved dog (who was very much the most loving son I can ever ask for) and soulmate Mickey passed last May. While many of you already know with my numerous Chuck threads, I have dealt with depression for the past 20+ years. With his love and support, I was able to deal with a lot of negative emotions and he gave me the feeling of security. Like the pillar of my life who even got me through a semi-suicide attempt where he cried and begged me to walk away from the window.
The moment he passed in my arms when he was euthanised because of severe lymph cancer, my legs went numb and I fell on the ground. I mean I've cried when other dogs in the family died before, but this time, I felt a deep scar in my heart (that still haven't healed). The months and days leading to his death, he stared at me with those 100% loving eyes like he wants to go on cause he had nothing but love for me.... but he knows his body can't go on. The memories of him staring at me all night when I was sleeping beside him, and the day before he died when he looked straight at me with those loving eyes and wanted to say goodbye... I've got to say, memories like that, as precious as they are, haunts me to this day. I can't stop thinking how much I miss him and how he will forever mean everything to me.
As hard as it is for someone my age to admit, I have cried every night since his passing.
Sorry about getting a tad out of topic, just wanted to give you guys a little background.
I currently place his ashes in my display cabinet at home where I placed a lot of his memoribilia (photos of happy times, figures of his birthday cakes, his leash, etc).
Now I am don't normally believe in the paranormal, and sometimes I wonder if I am just going crazy out of grief, but at times I can't help but feel like he is still around.
I have two cats at home which I take care of with my wife. Like the next night I brought his ashes home, late at night, I was talking to him (like how anyone will talk to their loved ones in front of their grave), and my cat rubbed himself on my leg and wanted attention. Out of nowhere, I heard small banging sounds (Mickey was always the jealous type) coming out of the cabinet. First thought was, oh I am just going crazy, but the next thing I noticed, the same sounds actually startled the cat.
The other time, during his birthday, I was alone at home and bought him a birthday cake (first birthday without him by my side) and lit the candle. Sang happy birthday, and the very moment (I mean less than a second) I finished, I sensed a small breeze that blew out the candle. Of course I wasn't scared, but yeah, took me by surprise.
Most recently, when I cried in front of his urn, I asked him to give me signs he is still there (I know this may freak some of you out... I understand). When I am alone, figurines of cat will get knocked over, and out of nowhere, a picture frame I took a long while to put his painting in (felt like a reminder to me?) tipped over. Like stuff that never happened before his passing.
I get how my family will be concerned cause they very well know me and Mickey have always had this unconditional love for each other. Can't say I am entirely religious, but my parents knows people who have practiced Budhism for a long while. They claim that all lives are meant to be reincarnated, and by me and Mickey not letting go of each other, I am letting our undying love affect his afterlife where he just doesn't want to go when his ashes are still with me. I've already heard the same thing twice from different people, but recently, it's actually making me feel rather guilty. Am I really doing this to my best friend? I still haven't decided what to believe, but one thing's for sure. When he died, a part of my spirit did as well. I haven't been wholeheartedly happy since. A lot of people are telling me to spread his ashes somewhere that means a lot to us, but I am honestly not at all prepared for that. The very thought of losing him again and "neglecting" him... I really don't know. Doesn't feel right to me either.
I am just curious. Have any of you faced something similar with a beloved dog/cat/person?
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