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Nov 28, 2009, 07:20 PM
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The Archduke of Gaming
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location:
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Posts: 12,902
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Am i being a dick? - The deaderinred therapy thread
this is one those long winded advice threads you guys love, but not girl related, well in some way, kinda maybe, maybe not, if i hadn't of ****ed up i wouldn't be dealing with this current problem.. annnywho another story.  so here's some background info to start with, i have this long time friend, known him since i was like 10, we manned the school trenches together ect ect, my only friend outside of work (which isn't very many either) and the internet, we're both now 26, he's 3 days older then me, after we left school he basically started travelling around the world, been everywhere nearly, mostly settling in and around Cambodia, he met a girl out there and has since got her pregnant and she is about 4 months in, hes come back to the uk for work and figuring stuff out since his plan of opening a titty bar over there got hampered by local corrupt police, or so the story goes. so about 2 months ago he comes back and his mom is going all bnp (uk nazi's) about the pregnancy, his folks have split and he lives with his dad which is pretty close by to my flat, basically the next village over, so he phoned me and told me the story and he was worried that when his dad gets back from holiday and he tells him about his surprise grandson that he too would freak out and asked if he could crash on my couch for a few days, so being the good friend that i am agreed. so he stayed here, his dad came back and the was the opposite of what he was expecting and wants to help out, my friend makes me the god-parent too for some reason and after this he kept staying.. every day, at the start i was kinda ok with it because i hadn't seen him for the longest time and i needed someone to talk to because im still hopelessly and pathetically still hung over my ex-gf, so i was glad of the company, and we had planned to go and rent a 2 bed 2 bathroom flat in another city close by which would be cheaper for the both of us and figured this was a great idea.heres where the problems start; he drinks, like properly, full blown alcaholic, he has done for awhile and it just been getting worse and worse, i didnt realize how bad it was until he started staying with him, he is drunk pretty much 24/7, his excuse is because hes bored, he fills my fridge with vokda and "white diamond" something or other; cheap chav piss in otherwords, he was here nearly all the time and it started to get annoying, but then he got a job as night time security guard, and with my shift patterns at works it meant we would be out of each others way so this would be a good thing, he also offered to help with my current bills/rents when he could and buy food since he was basically just staying in my flat until we got ready to move, the plan was to move in jan after saving up enough money, he only stays here on his random days off, he goes back to his dads house after works so he can sleep better during the day or something, but keeps random things of his around my flat, bags random clothe items, games/dvds, he even started bring full on dvd cases on my shelf instead of leaving them in his cd wallets. but now after living with him for a few months, this **** has gone too far, he doesnt try to tidy up his things he leaves here, he buys and eats completely and utter **** every day, leaves his rubbish celeb porn pages open on my computer when i forget the screensaver password box doesnt work anymore he brought over a foreman grill from his dads he uses which he never ever cleans, he never cleans his dishes, on the rare times he does clean a glass he doesnt even clean it properly, its still dirty and he puts it back in the cupboard, he doesnt drink when hes working but on his dads off he is ****ing drunk all the time, he stinks of it and leaves his stink on my leather couch, he makes a mess everywhere and doesnt clean it up properly, when asked about this he claims its "what lads do" and that i was being too girly about it i thought about that claim and how ridiculous but the time spent with my ex and how she would get pissed off with things like that from me, (tho no where near as bad as the mess and unwashed dishes he does) i changed all the bad habits she hated and now im pretty much a total clean freak because of it and i like it things clean i like clean dishes i like cleaning things after using them, but apparently its "too girly and gay" but then things really started to go weird, its stuff like him turning on the emergency water heating on for hours during the night which costs like a million pounds per second because he thought it was a plug switch, and then during the only time he tried to clean his foreman grill he pored all the fat down the ****ing sink hole potentially blocking it. since he works nights he is up until like 4/5am on the days off he spends here, when im trying to sleep i hear him all the ****ing time, not just moving around i mean he ****ing shouts at my tv when hes watching dvds/games, not at the stuff on screen, at the actual tv like its acting against him. one night i heard a smash but i was so tired that night i just stayed in bed, when i woke i expected to see some damage of some kind but nothing.. i asked him about the smashing noise and he acted like nothing had happend, then i found on my drinking glasses smashed to bits in the bin, and to this day i keep finding bits of ****ing glass everywhere around my living room, i asked him about it he and he gave me this look like the glass was asking for it   but oh it gets better, just the other night i came home from late night shopping, he was asleep on the couch, the sound of me coming him woke him, as i walked into the kitchen, he looked at me slurred at me about "get hte hell out of here you! .... get out of here!!" waving his arms around with bits of gibberish thrown in, he then got up walked toward me, i thought **** was about to go down but instead he just stopped then took the bags off me and put them on the floor, talked some more gibberish about his 12 hour shifts and then tried to convince me the government had poisoned him and he was growing an alien arm which takes a day to manifest and the whole of the village had no idea about this conspiracy unfolding under their very noses, i think he had been watching district 9 while i was shopping but still, he was deadly ****ing serious, and pissed off that i didnt believe him. so now, i really do not want to move into a flat with him anymore, even tho it would be saving me a few hundred pound a month, i dont even want him staying here anymore, i am so tired of his smelly **** and 24/7 drunken psychosis, the way we live our lives and how we live at home are vastly different, but you see on one hand i'm worried i'd loose him as a friend if i ask him to leave and tell him i dont want share a flat with him anymore, since the constant talk of it sounds like he would be using me as some kind of 2nd parent when he brings his kid over, basically getting me to raise his kid for him, and then on the other hand i just dont care. he wont be back here for another few days, ive got all his crap together hes left every where and put it all in the hallway, he has a key, im hoping ill be here when he comes back but who knows with him, im worried he'll go crazy about all his plans getting disrupted due to it and when i think about that i wonder if im just being a dick about it and how he lives his life? am i really being too girly and gay with the cleaning? i have this feeling hes going to go nuts, i dont want him here but i still want to be friends with him, i dont want to cut off ties completely, its quite difficult for me to make new friends as it is.. am i being a dick here guys? with my social retardedness i can never quite tell. long post huh? im quite sleep deprived at the moment, suffered from some insomia over something else so if im not making sense ask and ill try to be more clear.
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Nov 28, 2009, 07:28 PM
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Popcorn Playa
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location:
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Posts: 8,375
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he's 20 and got some chick in cambodia pregnant.... I'm pretty sure you're not the problem here.
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Nov 28, 2009, 07:35 PM
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Stafoo!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location:
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Posts: 1,596
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Tell him hes gotta go, he said it was a few days and you were kind and let him stay longer. Be prepared to change the locks if he doesnt want to leave, then just change them when he goes to work.
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Nov 28, 2009, 07:38 PM
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#4 |
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stupid ignorant bastard
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location:
 Estonia
Posts: 4,316
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Sorry don't have any advice but your story gave me a really good laugh. Thanks!
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#outsiders Let an earthquake crumble it. Let the fires rage. Let it burn to ****in ash then let the waters rise and submerge this whole, rat-infested place. The less a man makes declarative statements, the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect. If you´re frightened of dying, and fighting to hold on, you´ll see devils tearing your life away. But if you´ve made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth. |
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Nov 28, 2009, 07:39 PM
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#5 |
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I see what you did there
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location:
Highway 20
Posts: 14,424
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Cleaning is for fags.
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Perky McGiggles Perky is only alone temporarily. He was promised 69 naked virgins for a single task he has yet to complete. - wonder squirrel |
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Nov 28, 2009, 07:41 PM
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Sawasdee Kup.
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location:
 Left Coast
Posts: 10,665
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Interesting post, thanks for giving me something to read at the end of my work day. I think you are a dick but in regards to this guy, I don't think you are out of line. |
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Nov 28, 2009, 07:41 PM
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#7 |
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The Archduke of Gaming
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location:
What a mansion!
Posts: 12,902
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what if his alien arm activates and **** hits the fan?
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Nov 28, 2009, 07:43 PM
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#8 | |
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stupid ignorant bastard
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location:
Estonia
Posts: 4,316
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Quote:
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#outsiders Let an earthquake crumble it. Let the fires rage. Let it burn to ****in ash then let the waters rise and submerge this whole, rat-infested place. The less a man makes declarative statements, the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect. If you´re frightened of dying, and fighting to hold on, you´ll see devils tearing your life away. But if you´ve made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth. |
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Nov 28, 2009, 08:18 PM
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#9 |
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Huh?
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 6,887
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Shoot him in the head and dump his body down by the river.
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"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?" (Albert Einstein) |
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Nov 28, 2009, 08:20 PM
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#10 |
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stupid ignorant bastard
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location:
Estonia
Posts: 4,316
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But first make sure to get a hand job out of it.
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#outsiders Let an earthquake crumble it. Let the fires rage. Let it burn to ****in ash then let the waters rise and submerge this whole, rat-infested place. The less a man makes declarative statements, the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect. If you´re frightened of dying, and fighting to hold on, you´ll see devils tearing your life away. But if you´ve made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth. |
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Nov 28, 2009, 08:28 PM
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#11 |
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The Archduke of Gaming
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location:
What a mansion!
Posts: 12,902
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Nov 28, 2009, 08:28 PM
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#12 |
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Huh?
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 6,887
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You'll find a nice spot right next to where I left Riho.
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"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?" (Albert Einstein) |
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Nov 28, 2009, 08:30 PM
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#13 | |
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stupid ignorant bastard
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location:
Estonia
Posts: 4,316
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Quote:
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#outsiders Let an earthquake crumble it. Let the fires rage. Let it burn to ****in ash then let the waters rise and submerge this whole, rat-infested place. The less a man makes declarative statements, the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect. If you´re frightened of dying, and fighting to hold on, you´ll see devils tearing your life away. But if you´ve made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth. |
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Nov 28, 2009, 08:32 PM
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#14 |
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Huh?
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 6,887
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Yea the back off my hand across your forehead before I put the permanent dimple in it.
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"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?" (Albert Einstein) |
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Nov 28, 2009, 08:36 PM
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#15 | |
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stupid ignorant bastard
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location:
Estonia
Posts: 4,316
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Quote:
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#outsiders Let an earthquake crumble it. Let the fires rage. Let it burn to ****in ash then let the waters rise and submerge this whole, rat-infested place. The less a man makes declarative statements, the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect. If you´re frightened of dying, and fighting to hold on, you´ll see devils tearing your life away. But if you´ve made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth. |
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Nov 28, 2009, 08:45 PM
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#16 |
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Huh?
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 6,887
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Good Gods man...they have no sex where you live? Go buy a hooker. You don't want a hand job from me. I'd rip it off, leave you crying and use it to clean my finger nails.
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"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?" (Albert Einstein) |
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Nov 28, 2009, 08:46 PM
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stupid ignorant bastard
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location:
Estonia
Posts: 4,316
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Quote:
Now do you have any other advice to give Deaderinred other than how to give good hand jobs 
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#outsiders Let an earthquake crumble it. Let the fires rage. Let it burn to ****in ash then let the waters rise and submerge this whole, rat-infested place. The less a man makes declarative statements, the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect. If you´re frightened of dying, and fighting to hold on, you´ll see devils tearing your life away. But if you´ve made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth. |
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Nov 28, 2009, 08:57 PM
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Rage3D Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,873
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Nov 28, 2009, 09:05 PM
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Huh?
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 6,887
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 Quote:
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"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?" (Albert Einstein) |
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Nov 28, 2009, 09:45 PM
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#20 |
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shinigami
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Silent Hill
Posts: 1,824
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wow persuade him to go back to Cambodia and stay there? why's he living with you while his mind is still there?
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Love is patient, love is kind. Love is better from behind -squid |
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Nov 28, 2009, 10:14 PM
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#21 |
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OzzieDog
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location:
 Western Australia.
Posts: 10,720
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I assume you've asked him to leave in the past? Given that he's an alco, I wouldn't be too surprised if he threw a hissy fit if you did, so I'd be inclined to just change the locks when he's out, drop his stuff off at his dad's for him (booze included) and when he calls you, just say, "Enough's enough mate. I'm your friend, not a charity service. Pull your **** together."
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Nov 28, 2009, 11:59 PM
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Snow Flake Massacre
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location:
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Posts: 13,478
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the only thing that will make him change is seeing the darkness at the bottom on the hole. Humans are way too complex to try and figure out where this all comes from. I would evict him with the help of the police and not look back. Maybe he will reach out to you in the future, but you are at least 6 months off any development with this guy. MG
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The is no greater beauty than the one that glimmers behind the eyes. -------------------------------------------- There is nothing real outside of our perception of reality. |
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Nov 29, 2009, 07:17 AM
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The Archduke of Gaming
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location:
What a mansion!
Posts: 12,902
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Quote:
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Nov 29, 2009, 07:51 AM
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#24 | |
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The Archduke of Gaming
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location:
What a mansion!
Posts: 12,902
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Quote:
he is so god-damn negative all the time, is this normal for drunkards? i talk to him about my money issues and other **** and all his responses and "advice" are that its "all just bull****" i'm trying to change my outlook on life and be more positive and be a much better person but him being here doing his negative **** makes me loose it sometimes, i know hes going to throw a hissy fit.. i just don't know if i should wait for him to come back or do the coward way and take all his stuff down his dads (chances are both wont be in) and then do it all by phone and change the locks (money again) he doesnt even help me out with bills and ****, he said he would and every time hes here its just some bull**** excuse, the ****er earns 200 quid more than i do and in the 2months hes been here hes only given 30 for that lift to work and 40 the other day, and not the 100 quid a month he said he was going to give, im ok for letting people stay at my place for free, im generous like that, probably too much generous , but when they start smashing ****, arguing with my tv, putting the heating on 24/7 and using excessive electric while they live here and earn more money then i do, its not a dick thing to ask for a bit of help with bills. i've dumped all his **** in the hallway, so at least when he comes in he should get the hint without me having to say anything? if hes not drunk that is.
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Nov 29, 2009, 08:54 AM
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#25 | ||
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Rage3D Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,873
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The least he could do for staying at your place for free is to be a fu***** mouse of a house guest. If somebody was letting me stay with them for free, I would at least not bitch about things and clean up after myself.
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Nov 29, 2009, 09:29 AM
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kaleidoscope
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location:
Toronto
Posts: 11,630
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DiR!!! I know you have large cajones hiding under those pants, use them, and kick this ******* out before he starts asking you to cook him dinner, wash his laundry, and iron his clothes. Seriously, it's only been a short while and this is how he treats you?
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//dreamwalker
i feel you in my bones |
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Nov 29, 2009, 04:33 PM
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Rage3D Technical Writer
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 29,060
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Nov 29, 2009, 05:28 PM
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#28 |
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The Archduke of Gaming
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location:
What a mansion!
Posts: 12,902
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I'm a dick in general?
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Nov 29, 2009, 07:04 PM
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#29 | |
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Rage3D Veteran
Join Date: May 2003
Location:
Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 10,170
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Quote:
 you for it. 
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Nov 30, 2009, 11:40 AM
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Lets talk about hex baby
Join Date: May 2003
Location:
 In my skin
Posts: 11,050
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Quote:
 Ps. I would have kicked his a$$ out from the start if I was you. Friends need to respect each other |
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