Fed up with GF

Meteor · Nov 25, 2009, 12:41 AM

GF has OCD...
For 3 years I've been with her to doctors, trained her, gave her medicine etc...
Paid for all in the hope she would get better eventually...

Still, she insists on using me as an answering machine, a maid and nothing more....

I am the one fighting the goddarn disease...
Her mom treats her like the queen (part of the problem actually...)

No initiative from her part, none...nothing...nada!
No matter what the docs say or ask her to do, nothing!!!

Bleh...humbug

sorry, just had to rant somewhere on teh internets...

biscuitownz · Nov 25, 2009, 12:43 AM

What you doing?

pax · Nov 25, 2009, 12:53 AM

Oh ya I work with a few OCD's... chicks get that **** a lot more than guys imo. Ive known one for last 20 years... AFAIK you cant change them.

FrAg Of FuRy · Nov 25, 2009, 12:59 AM

Does she make you spray your man juice in a perfect line on her belly while she turns a light on and off in sequences of 3?

Meteor · Nov 25, 2009, 01:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FrAg Of FuRy

Does she make you spray your man juice in a perfect line on her belly while she turns a light on and off in sequences of 3?

That would actually be preferred considering what she wants me to do in real life...

KickAssCop · Nov 25, 2009, 01:17 AM

OCD is what?

Nunz · Nov 25, 2009, 01:23 AM

OCD = Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Quote:

Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by involuntary intrusive thoughts.

KickAssCop · Nov 25, 2009, 01:29 AM

I heard it works out great to make sex a bit kinky...

**pink_pants** · Nov 25, 2009, 01:33 AM

You're upset that pumping money out didn't magically cure her OCD?

It isn't a 'curable' condition, someone with it can only hope to one day get some of the most life upsetting conditions under control using medication and behaviour therapy. If you're going to be mad at anyone it should be yourself for being so naive.

Nunz · Nov 25, 2009, 01:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pink_pants

You're upset that pumping money out didn't magically cure her OCD?

It isn't a 'curable' condition, someone with it can only hope to one day get some of the most life upsetting conditions under control using medication and behaviour therapy. If you're going to be mad at anyone it should be yourself for being so naive.

Did you read his post??

Seems to me that he's complaining that she isn't trying to do anything about it, she has no initiative in his words.

I think he has every right to be angry if he's putting out a lot of money to help and she isn't trying to help herself. He didn't once mention money in any of his post, just lots of doctor visits etc.

**pink_pants** · Nov 25, 2009, 01:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nunz

Did you read his post??

Seems to me that he's complaining that she isn't trying to do anything about it, she has no initiative in his words.

I think he has every right to be angry if he's putting out a lot of money to help and she isn't trying to help herself. He didn't once mention money in any of his post, just lots of doctor visits etc.

His first sentenced mentioned the fact that he paid for it all so she would get better! She has OCD, it isn't as if she's just lazy and can't be bothered to help herself. The condition is not curable! Treatment doesn't work for everyone! To be upset for someone not getting better from their anxiety disorder is ridiculous. It's like being mad at someone for getting cancer and not willing themselves better

KickAssCop · Nov 25, 2009, 01:38 AM

Does insurance pay up for OCD conditions?

Nunz · Nov 25, 2009, 01:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pink_pants

His first sentenced mentioned the fact that he paid for it all so she would get better! She has OCD, it isn't as if she's just lazy and can't be bothered to help herself. The condition is not curable! Treatment doesn't work for everyone! To be upset for someone not getting better from their anxiety disorder is ridiculous. It's like being mad at someone for getting cancer and not willing themselves better

Yea he did mention that but he didn't state it as if that was his issue.

Cancer is a totally different issue and you know it, OCD can be treated but you have to fight it, it's no cake-walk for sure but the fact is that it can be done. His GF is lucky to have him supporting her like this. He has every right to feel frustrated.

OCD is hard to treat and hard to overcome but the fact is that it can be overcome. Cancer is different because you can't fight it in the same aspect.

Put it this way, the doctor's are telling her to do something to overcome and try to mild it out, and she does nothing. Her boyfriend is pushing her to do it, and nothing. That's still a lack of initiative regardless if the OCD is part of it. She isn't trying as hard as she can to overcome it, and honestly saying "I have an OCD" is not enough of an excuse when she has all that support, doctors, medicines etc. It comes to a point where it's up to the person to say "Hey, I've got to do this to make myself better" and DO IT.

TombStone · Nov 25, 2009, 01:51 AM

Meteor. Better to rant here then at her. I give you all the credit in the world for what you are trying to do and have done. I can't offer any help

but you obviously love her and want her to be better or you wouldn't be trying.

Good luck.

Meteor · Nov 25, 2009, 02:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pink_pants

You're upset that pumping money out didn't magically cure her OCD?

It isn't a 'curable' condition, someone with it can only hope to one day get some of the most life upsetting conditions under control using medication and behaviour therapy. If you're going to be mad at anyone it should be yourself for being so naive.

Firstly, you do not have to explain to me what OCD means...
I have been with her for 7 years, the last 3 years when she had the condition...

And you are wrong; the situation HAS improved a lot..
And she did a lot of things to make me proud and impress even the docs sometimes...

Secondly, i am not upset about the money..
I would pump ALL of it into whatever it takes to help her....

We've been seeing a psychologist to do exposure training and it worked wonders...it really did!

But the point here is; so she KNOWS what needs to be done to make life continue for us, and she did a lot.. But now all of the sudden, she decided to put this mental blockage in her head and just gives up... After ALL we have been through and all she has achieved!

So now she does not think, does not train herself, does not anything to help herself and me... Ignores advise of doctors, me or anyone helping out.
Except asking and letting others do the work for her...

The same thing again and again and again.....

THAT is frustrating me to HELL....
You should try answering the same questions again and again for a year and see how you would react....

Quote:

Originally Posted by pink_pants

His first sentenced mentioned the fact that he paid for it all so she would get better! She has OCD, it isn't as if she's just lazy and can't be bothered to help herself. The condition is not curable! Treatment doesn't work for everyone! To be upset for someone not getting better from their anxiety disorder is ridiculous. It's like being mad at someone for getting cancer and not willing themselves better

I am well aware that 100% does not exist; in fact there is NO 100%.
People have habits; rituals etc. which all could be a called (a very mild) form of OCD.

Yes, she is not lazy, but knows very well to use the people around her so she does not have to be scared.... Especially her mom..

Btw. cancer is horrible in any case; it does not even compare...

Meteor · Nov 25, 2009, 02:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TombStone

Meteor. Better to rant here then at her. I give you all the credit in the world for what you are trying to do and have done. I can't offer any help

but you obviously love her and want her to be better or you wouldn't be trying.

Good luck.

Thanks for the support; honestly I did get mad at her in front of her mom...
Hence the rant..

Patience is getting thin and I have difficulties handling it..
Caveman me is... Mars indeed sometimes. sigh...

Meteor · Nov 25, 2009, 02:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KickAssCop

Does insurance pay up for OCD conditions?

Nope... Full medical insurance in HK is unpayable...
Also, even if we would go fully insured; this condition pre-existed, so it is not covered.

Meteor · Nov 25, 2009, 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nunz

Yea he did mention that but he didn't state it as if that was his issue.

Cancer is a totally different issue and you know it, OCD can be treated but you have to fight it, it's no cake-walk for sure but the fact is that it can be done. His GF is lucky to have him supporting her like this. He has every right to feel frustrated.

OCD is hard to treat and hard to overcome but the fact is that it can be overcome. Cancer is different because you can't fight it in the same aspect.

Put it this way, the doctor's are telling her to do something to overcome and try to mild it out, and she does nothing. Her boyfriend is pushing her to do it, and nothing. That's still a lack of initiative regardless if the OCD is part of it. She isn't trying as hard as she can to overcome it, and honestly saying "I have an OCD" is not enough of an excuse when she has all that support, doctors, medicines etc. It comes to a point where it's up to the person to say "Hey, I've got to do this to make myself better" and DO IT.

Exactly the issue here.....
She did do a lot though in the last 3 years; but boldy refuses to do anything more all of the sudden... and ignores all & everybody...

KickAssCop · Nov 25, 2009, 02:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meteor

Nope... Full medical insurance in HK is unpayable...
Also, even if we would go fully insured; this condition pre-existed, so it is not covered.

Fark!

ultimadrift · Nov 25, 2009, 03:23 AM

Maybe in her eyes she doesn't see any improvement or not satisfied with the progress and she has given up?

Meteor · Nov 25, 2009, 03:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sachankara

My advice (which is more of a rant) is just to give up and go your own way. People with neuropsycological problems cannot be helped if they do not want to help themselves. Do yourself a favor and end it now. It's for your own good and for her own good. It's the same advice you'd give people whose partners are alcoholics.

"problem" is I cannot bring myself to simply dispose of 7 years of living together....

Quote:

Originally Posted by ultimadrift

Maybe in her eyes she doesn't see any improvement or not satisfied with the progress and she has given up?

Doc mentioned that also; she might be too harsh on herself....
And by doing so, also blowing up the problems left in her mind to huge proportions..

Keep on reminding her not to do that (in a normal tone)......
But OCD is repetitive; her thinking in this also it seems....

wabbitslayer · Nov 25, 2009, 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meteor

GF has OCD...
Still, she insists on using me as an answering machine, a maid and nothing more....

maybe this reflects a complete lack of understanding on my part, but how does her having OCD turn her into what sounds like just a lazy bitch who want to be waited on like royalty?

Roll her over in the morning, DHITB, tell her to try doing some **** for herself for a few days and see how that goes.

nrs421 · Nov 25, 2009, 07:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meteor

"problem" is I cannot bring myself to simply dispose of 7 years of living together....

but are you're prepared to do this for the rest of your life?

bete · Nov 25, 2009, 07:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sachankara

My advice (which is more of a rant) is just to give up and go your own way. People with neuropsycological problems cannot be helped if they do not want to help themselves. Do yourself a favor and end it now. It's for your own good and for her own good. It's the same advice you'd give people whose partners are alcoholics.

Yuppers forget that whole "For better or for worse, in sickness and in health..." thing.

Just words...look out for number one...f**k everybody else.

wabbitslayer · Nov 25, 2009, 07:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bete

Yuppers forget that whole "For better or for worse, in sickness and in health..." thing.

True, that is often forgotten about as soon as the vows are said, but it sounds like these folks are just shackin' up.

not that there's anything wrong with that....

bete · Nov 25, 2009, 07:56 AM

Then you and I are different types of people Sach.

Who the hell would want to hook up with someone that will bail at the first rough spot?

That is a business contract not "love honor and protect".

Encyclopedia_b · Nov 25, 2009, 08:27 AM

you sound like a wonderful supportive partner but it also sounds like you need a little break from the situation.

maybe you could work a deal with the mother-in-law (or whatever) and go for a mans retreat with some buddies, shooting stuff, drinking or whatever

Nunz · Nov 25, 2009, 08:54 AM

I agree, you really do sound like you need a break.

But more so, she needs to atleast ATTEMPT to get her act together. OCD does not give her a free pass to just suddenly stop doing what she needs to do.

Maybe you need to speak with her mother privately, it's very possible it's all stemming from her lavishing her daughter and treating her like a "queen" like you said, and your GF is now under the impression that your willing to do the same.

nrs421 · Nov 25, 2009, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bete

Then you and I are different types of people Sach.

Who the hell would want to hook up with someone that will bail at the first rough spot?

That is a business contract not "love honor and protect".

living together...not married....it would be a different story if he was married.

Encyclopedia_b · Nov 25, 2009, 09:57 AM

its just a word ... it really doesnt change anything

Nov 25, 2009, 12:41 AM	#1	Advertisement (Guests Only) Login or Register to remove this ad
Meteor [RenJeRot] rulez! Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Hong Kong Posts: 1,126	Fed up with GF GF has OCD... For 3 years I've been with her to doctors, trained her, gave her medicine etc... Paid for all in the hope she would get better eventually... Still, she insists on using me as an answering machine, a maid and nothing more.... I am the one fighting the goddarn disease... Her mom treats her like the queen (part of the problem actually...) No initiative from her part, none...nothing...nada! No matter what the docs say or ask her to do, nothing!!! Bleh...humbug sorry, just had to rant somewhere on teh internets... __________________ For main PC see specs Others: Asus EEE 1005HA / Intel Atom N280 1.66GHz / 1GB / 160 GB HDD / Windows 7 Asus M6N / Intel Pentium M Centrino 1.5GHz / 1GB DDR333 Samsung (2x512) / 40 GB Fujitsu / ATI Mobility™ Radeon™ 9600 / XP Home SP2 (English) / DVD+RW / 15.4" TFT LCD Unfortunately @ my gf's old house address

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Nov 25, 2009, 12:43 AM	#2
biscuitownz R.I.P 9600GT 2008-2009 Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: sacramento Posts: 1,345	What you doing? __________________ Knowledge is only limited to how far your imagination can go

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Nov 25, 2009, 12:53 AM	#3
pax Rage3D Veteran Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Grand Falls, New Brunswick, Canada Posts: 9,960	Oh ya I work with a few OCD's... chicks get that **** a lot more than guys imo. Ive known one for last 20 years... AFAIK you cant change them. __________________

Nov 25, 2009, 12:59 AM	#4
FrAg Of FuRy Rage3D's Village Idiot Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Illinois Posts: 4,315	Does she make you spray your man juice in a perfect line on her belly while she turns a light on and off in sequences of 3? __________________

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Nov 25, 2009, 01:17 AM	#6
KickAssCop Silent Stalker Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Lahore Posts: 11,400	OCD is what?

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Nov 25, 2009, 01:29 AM	#8
KickAssCop Silent Stalker Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Lahore Posts: 11,400	I heard it works out great to make sex a bit kinky...

Nov 25, 2009, 01:33 AM	#9
pink_pants The nectar of life Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: The Toon Posts: 11,568	You're upset that pumping money out didn't magically cure her OCD? It isn't a 'curable' condition, someone with it can only hope to one day get some of the most life upsetting conditions under control using medication and behaviour therapy. If you're going to be mad at anyone it should be yourself for being so naive. __________________ "All I've ever cared about was video games and they made me a millionaire. So maybe I don't know what the Civil War was, or who invented the helicopter even though I own one, but I did beat The Legend of Zelda before I could walk... I'm thinking about getting metal legs. It's a risky operation, but it'll be worth it."

Nov 25, 2009, 01:38 AM	#12
KickAssCop Silent Stalker Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Lahore Posts: 11,400	Does insurance pay up for OCD conditions?

Nov 25, 2009, 01:51 AM	#14
TombStone Radeon HD 4870 Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Japan Posts: 504	Meteor. Better to rant here then at her. I give you all the credit in the world for what you are trying to do and have done. I can't offer any help but you obviously love her and want her to be better or you wouldn't be trying. Good luck. __________________ Antec P 183 / Corsair H50 cooler / MSI P55 GD65 / Intel i7 860 / 8GB Elixir DDR3 / GTS 250 X 2 SLI / Falcon II SSD / 2x Seagate 300GB HDD / Logitech Z680 5.1 / Logitech G35 HDST / Logitech G7 / 22 inch LG LCD / Windows 7 64 Bit

Nov 25, 2009, 03:23 AM	#20
ultimadrift Rage3D Veteran Join Date: May 2006 Location: Sacramento, CA Posts: 1,225	Maybe in her eyes she doesn't see any improvement or not satisfied with the progress and she has given up?

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Nov 25, 2009, 07:56 AM	#26
bete Huh? Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 6,887	Then you and I are different types of people Sach. Who the hell would want to hook up with someone that will bail at the first rough spot? That is a business contract not "love honor and protect". __________________ "If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?" (Albert Einstein)

Nov 25, 2009, 08:27 AM	#27
Encyclopedia_b Purveyor of OFN Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Capitol of the free world : Wash DC Posts: 8,693	you sound like a wonderful supportive partner but it also sounds like you need a little break from the situation. maybe you could work a deal with the mother-in-law (or whatever) and go for a mans retreat with some buddies, shooting stuff, drinking or whatever

Nov 25, 2009, 09:57 AM	#30
Encyclopedia_b Purveyor of OFN Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Capitol of the free world : Wash DC Posts: 8,693	its just a word ... it really doesnt change anything

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