Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo

dreamwalker · May 17, 2009, 12:34 AM

Quote:

ARNDALE, OK – Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself.

After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play–Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,” Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office said yesterday.

On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.” The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter.

The recently divorced Ms. Dent had been questioned by authorities three times over the past month after neighbors complained of her running a prostitution ring from her home. Records also show that Ms. Dent supplemented her income as the sole proprietor of a sex toy distributor.

Ms. Dent’s alleged extracurricular activities appear to be unrelated to her death. A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”

http://decentcommunity.org/2009/05/0...mmer-as-dildo/

OzzieBloke · May 17, 2009, 12:41 AM

Once you go jack, there's no going back...

So much for her jacking off.

I'll stop now.

drumphil · May 17, 2009, 01:54 AM

Quote:

I'll stop now.

thank you

zebra 204 · May 17, 2009, 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OzzieBloke

Once you go jack, there's no going back...

So much for her jacking off.

I'll stop now.

I lol'd.

Cowzrul · May 17, 2009, 02:01 AM

That's jacked up.

xCLAVEx · May 17, 2009, 02:10 AM

Sasquach · May 17, 2009, 02:18 AM

She totally got jacked up....

Jack hammered her too hard.....

bigtabs · May 17, 2009, 03:06 AM

I like how she chose to do this in her driveway, rather than the comfort of the bedroom.

DaJMasta · May 17, 2009, 03:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigtabs

I like how she chose to do this in her driveway, rather than the comfort of the bedroom.

When you're doing it with a jackhammer, comfort is not to be expected.

Dungeoncrawler · May 17, 2009, 03:30 AM

The human species never ceases to disgust me!

Debello · May 17, 2009, 04:02 AM

If that didn't do her in I am sure materbating with the toaster in the bath tube would have.

FuryX · May 17, 2009, 05:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Debello

If that didn't do her in I am sure materbating with the toaster in the bath tube would have.

AWESOME IDEA!

Hatecrime69 · May 17, 2009, 05:47 AM

*looks at masturbate-a-thon thread*
*looks at this one*

Zero · May 17, 2009, 07:10 AM

And women complain about their guys just jackhammering away...

Adanu · May 17, 2009, 07:17 AM

It makes sense if you really think about it... though I'm not sure if someone would be able to properly 'use' a jackhammer like that... at least the bit she used was small enough for it.

Though the fact that she did this OUTSIDE is interesting... then again, I love exhibitionist women.

Debello · May 17, 2009, 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zero

And women complain about their guys just jackhammering away...

Camster · May 17, 2009, 08:00 AM

Darwin award winner??

MysticKiller · May 17, 2009, 08:07 AM

LOOL dumb bitch.

Guybo · May 17, 2009, 08:22 AM

She couldn't do this in the bedroom because the compressor wouldn't fit in the bedroom and the airhose wouldn't reach. If you don't have a garage then the driveway is the next logical choice. duh

Pr3tty F1y · May 17, 2009, 08:31 AM

FAKE NEWS

There is no Arndale, OK and no place such as Alpara County. You've been had

MysticKiller · May 17, 2009, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pr3tty F1y

FAKE NEWS

There is no Arndale, OK and no place such as Alpara County. You've been had

Just what my brother said when I showed him.

But I would not be surprised if it was true.

caveman-jim · May 17, 2009, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pr3tty F1y

FAKE NEWS

There is no Arndale, OK and no place such as Alpara County. You've been had

Then who was jack?

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May 17, 2009, 12:41 AM	#2
OzzieBloke & OzzieDog Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Western Australia. Posts: 11,939	Once you go jack, there's no going back... So much for her jacking off. I'll stop now. __________________ Signature. Last edited by OzzieBloke : May 17, 2009 at 01:27 AM.

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May 17, 2009, 02:01 AM	#5
Cowzrul Dazed and Confused Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Redneck Country Posts: 10,494	That's jacked up.

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May 17, 2009, 02:18 AM	#7
Sasquach Im god and you're all BS Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Somewhere in Canada Posts: 16,470	She totally got jacked up.... Jack hammered her too hard..... __________________ ------The Squachbox------ Gigabyte 3D Aurora 570 full size aluminum chassis PC Power & Cooling Silencer Quad Blue 750watt PSU Zalman CNPS9900LED on AMD Phenom II X4 955 BE @ 3.2ghz Gigabyte GA-MA790FXT-UD5P 4gb Patriot Viper Series Low Latency DDR3 1600 Samsung Syncmaster 205BW (21" widescreen) on ATI Radeon HD 5870 Western Digital Caviar Black 500gb 7200RPM SATA Seagate Barracuda 500gb 7200.12 SATA Logitech Z-5300 THX 5.1 surround on Realtek ALC889 HD onboard audio ---AMD Dragon+ Platform---

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May 17, 2009, 03:06 AM	#8
bigtabs is a happy chappy Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: TDU, Germany Posts: 3,312	I like how she chose to do this in her driveway, rather than the comfort of the bedroom. __________________ This is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

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May 17, 2009, 03:30 AM	#10
Dungeoncrawler Rage3D Veteran Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 6,033	The human species never ceases to disgust me!

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May 17, 2009, 04:02 AM	#11
Debello Not built for speed Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Portland, OR Posts: 5,572	If that didn't do her in I am sure materbating with the toaster in the bath tube would have. __________________ "The proper function of man is to live not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them ... I shall use my time." Jack London

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May 17, 2009, 05:47 AM	#13
Hatecrime69 Rage3D Veteran Join Date: Jun 1999 Posts: 1,325	looks at masturbate-a-thon thread looks at this one

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May 17, 2009, 07:10 AM	#14
Zero sass hole Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Toronto Posts: 21,254	And women complain about their guys just jackhammering away... __________________ Attaching the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance since 1980.

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May 17, 2009, 08:00 AM	#17
Camster Rage3D Veteran Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Ottawa, Canada Posts: 1,007	Darwin award winner?? __________________ Cam

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May 17, 2009, 08:07 AM	#18
MysticKiller Nuff Respect Due Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: England Posts: 3,094	LOOL dumb bitch. __________________ Athlon XP 2600+ Processor (Barton Core) ¦ ¦ 1024MB DDR PC2700 Ram ¦ ¦ Ge-Force FX 5500 256MB ¦ ¦ 120GB Seagate 2MB Cache HDD ¦ ¦ 200GB Seagate 8MB Cache HDD ¦ ¦ NEC ND-2500A 8X DVD-/+Writer ¦ ¦ 19'' TFT @ 8MS ¦ ¦ Brother HL-2030 B&W Laser Printer ¦ ¦ Xerox 2400 One Touch Scanner 13" MacBook Pro Premium Xbox 360 - MK365 (Live Gamertag) Crystal Xbox With Xenium ICE Modchip Nintendo Wii Modded PS

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May 17, 2009, 08:22 AM	#19
Guybo Anonymous Proletariat Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Big Guava Posts: 1,826	She couldn't do this in the bedroom because the compressor wouldn't fit in the bedroom and the airhose wouldn't reach. If you don't have a garage then the driveway is the next logical choice. duh

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May 17, 2009, 08:31 AM	#20
Pr3tty F1y Rage3D Veteran Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: fhqwhgads Posts: 6,620	FAKE NEWS There is no Arndale, OK and no place such as Alpara County. You've been had __________________

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