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Old Sep 1, 2013, 12:00 PM   #61
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Redeemed
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I guess I don't 'get' how needy some people are. My hubby's been away for 3 weeks. Sure it's rough, but we have a shared goal and we are both working toward that goal. It's only in more recent years we'be understood the benefits of taking a day off together- but then, he and I both have workaholic tendencies and are both loners/introverts.
I know it's not just a woman issue- there are needy guys out there too. I've known a few. Maybe guys call it quits sooner thinking the chick isn't really interested if she's working so much. Dunno. Speculation. But I found it interesting there are a couple of guys in here with much the same story.
I tripped on that as well. Makes ya' feel better though, proof that you're not going through things alone, others have indeed been there and done that.

For me- I just know how I am. I always give 110% no matter what I'm doing. I made the investment once and lost everything (from my perspective). So naturally I suppose I'm afraid of making the same mistake twice. Not sure I'm an introvert, but I really don't care for large crowds and gatherings, never did get into the whole social networking craze (still don't have a smart phone or texting as part of my plan), live 40 miles from work out in the middle of a forrest and love the solitude. My long term goal is to not have to commute to town for work, but to live on a ranch some where doing whatever tasks need to be done, training and working with the horses (used to do a whole lot of this when I lived back home with my folks), and doing computer work on the side at my leasure.

One of these days. *stares off into the distance...*
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 12:02 PM   #62
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I tripped on that as well. Makes ya' feel better though, proof that you're not going through things alone, others have indeed been there and done that.

For me- I just know how I am. I always give 110% no matter what I'm doing. I made the investment once and lost everything (from my perspective). So naturally I suppose I'm afraid of making the same mistake twice. Not sure I'm an introvert, but I really don't care for large crowds and gatherings, never did get into the whole social networking craze (still don't have a smart phone or texting as part of my plan), live 40 miles from work out in the middle of a forrest and love the solitude. My long term goal is to not have to commute to town for work, but to live on a ranch some where doing whatever tasks need to be done, training and working with the horses (used to do a whole lot of this when I lived back home with my folks), and doing computer work on the side at my leasure.

One of these days. *stares off into the distance...*
Yes. Yes you are. Embrace it.
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 12:08 PM   #63
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Yes. Yes you are. Embrace it.


Well, I've been reading some different definitions of it just now and maybe I am. The boot does seem to fit.
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 01:30 PM   #64
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Geez you've had a run of it. I hope all looks up soon. We always look back at these most difficult times in life and think - I got through. You will get through!
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 01:39 PM   #65
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Been there, done that. And yeah, it sucks. I know this is cliché, but it will get better with time. At some point, it won't hurt so much.

Take care of yourself. Learn to like yourself and like being alone with yourself and the rest of life becomes a lot easier. It's easier said than done, but it's worth working towards that.

Take care John, and best wishes.
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 02:00 PM   #66
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Thanks for the wishes guys and I know that you are right but I have downward spiralled so much that I think I may not be able to pick myself up now.

I feel like such a ****, over the past few weeks I have been helping her pack her mothers car with her stuff as I was finishing my project as I believed that we were moving there and I said I would sort my stuff out asap and then move it across. Instead I have helped move out the woman that I love, yes I have actually helped move her out of my life without even ****ing realising.

The **** I have gone though this year is bad enough but now this on top its overwhelming, I also have other possible stuff that may be happening to me and I am totally rock bottom.

As for friends, I moved 200 miles to be with her years ago, the good old friends that I do have are all now married with kids.

My only option is my parents which I am going to have to take, haven't spoken to them yet and it will be difficult as me an my father are very different people.
Dude sorry to hear.

But fck it... she seriously dropping you without a home etc. WTF is wrong with her? She should has spoken up the first time she felt "different".

Like a friend says.. it's not the fall, it's the standing up. Be strong!!
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 02:01 PM   #67
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If karma is real she gonna get ****ed in the ass with a pineapple.
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 02:17 PM   #68
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Woah John. Sorry to hear that man. Hopefully things get better for you!
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 03:47 PM   #69
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If karma is real she gonna get ****ed in the ass with a pineapple.
That doesn't sound like much of a punishment to me..

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Old Sep 1, 2013, 04:00 PM   #70
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If karma is real she gonna get ****ed in the ass with a pineapple.


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That doesn't sound like much of a punishment to me..

See above pic...*hint* I'm not the one who'd be playing the maid
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 04:01 PM   #71
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Thanks all, she came with her mother earlier to get the rest of her stuff then is coming back Tuesday with a van.

I have been packing as much as I can, should finish tomorrow.... hopefully I can book a van in the short time available

Calling my parents tonight, that's going to be fun.

Spoke to her about why, basically she doesn't know, she still loves me, just not 'as much as she used to'

During the chat she used the line that we always promised at the beginning if one of us was unhappy we would tell the other one.... well you could of fooled me

I have not been myself this year (well no **** Sherlock, maybe you should of supported me like i did her) and she feels like she has been alone.. wtf why not tell me, apparently she also felt oppressed but the kicker is, she can't explain that either as she even admitted I have never oppressed her or stopped her doing anything she wanted.

So basically no answers and the part where she told me if I asked her to marry me a year ago she would of said yes... well thanks for that one.
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 04:15 PM   #72
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She's just being a bitch and trying to make you feel bad. Parting shot. Shrug it off.
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 04:36 PM   #73
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Drinking again, this time Whiskey.... not a very good idea

No amount of risk assessment would of enabled me to mitigate against this, hence treatment is getting hammered and listening to music, again.
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 04:37 PM   #74
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She's just being a bitch and trying to make you feel bad. Parting shot. Shrug it off.
agreed

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she still loves me, just not 'as much as she used to'


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her to marry me a year ago she would of said yes
She would have divorced you a year later ? Nah man... you are better off!
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 04:43 PM   #75
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agreed







She would have divorced you a year later ? Nah man... you are better off!
My friends did nickname me Chandler
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 07:22 PM   #76
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Well, every last woman I or anybody I know has dealt with long-term has completely screwed them over. Selfish creatures, they are. This... this is why some men "use" them and then kick them to the curb.
The Earth is also flat.

If *every* woman does this, you need to start looking in the mirror.

John, hang tough. Learn and move on.
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 07:24 PM   #77
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Been reconnecting with one of my oldest mates, 45 year old who guys by he name of Sanjay, hope I can recoonect there as that guy was like a brother to me, I gave up too much and neglected those who truly would do anything for me.
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 07:32 PM   #78
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The Earth is also flat.

If *every* woman does this, you need to start looking in the mirror.

John, hang tough. Learn and move on.
I am mate, just going to take a looooong time (no sucky) as I thought his was it.
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 08:48 PM   #79
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No sucky?
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 09:27 PM   #80
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No sucky?
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Old Sep 2, 2013, 06:20 AM   #81
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agreed







She would have divorced you a year later ? Nah man... you are better off!
Seems like people have this idea if you get married things would magically be better. I spoke to the mutual friend of mine and my ex a couple of weeks ago about our breakup, can't believe its been a year, and she said that if you are married you are forced to work on things and its not so easy to just leave. And my ex had this hope for us that if we got married we would have sorted things out. I am like How does anyone think that if you are married things would be any different? I almost get the feeling women are like, oh well, no use sorting this out because i am not married. Bitches be crazy
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Old Sep 2, 2013, 06:41 AM   #82
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I think man and women are crazy. If this forum had an equal number of women as it does men, the stories you'd hear about men treating women like **** would be equally numerous. Ain't just the bitches dude, your on a lopsided forum.

As for marriage, that's true. By the time you've mingled your finances, bought a house together, maybe have some shared investments and tons of other things, it is harder to walk away. You made a commitment, and you're committed. Hard to get a divorce. It's a pain in the arse. So yeah, I think both parties tend to work harder at a marriage than if it were a dating relationship.
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Old Sep 2, 2013, 06:44 AM   #83
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Seems like people have this idea if you get married things would magically be better. I spoke to the mutual friend of mine and my ex a couple of weeks ago about our breakup, can't believe its been a year, and she said that if you are married you are forced to work on things and its not so easy to just leave. And my ex had this hope for us that if we got married we would have sorted things out. I am like How does anyone think that if you are married things would be any different? I almost get the feeling women are like, oh well, no use sorting this out because i am not married. Bitches be crazy
If you have issues before marriage, odds are great that it will cause more crap after marriage. And once when children are in the mix.. then crap.

Marriage is no "cure"/solution for problem(s)
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Old Sep 2, 2013, 11:39 AM   #84
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Originally Posted by greyghost View Post
I think man and women are crazy. If this forum had an equal number of women as it does men, the stories you'd hear about men treating women like **** would be equally numerous. Ain't just the bitches dude, your on a lopsided forum.

As for marriage, that's true. By the time you've mingled your finances, bought a house together, maybe have some shared investments and tons of other things, it is harder to walk away. You made a commitment, and you're committed. Hard to get a divorce. It's a pain in the arse. So yeah, I think both parties tend to work harder at a marriage than if it were a dating relationship.
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If you have issues before marriage, odds are great that it will cause more crap after marriage. And once when children are in the mix.. then crap.

Marriage is no "cure"/solution for problem(s)
^^ Wisdom.
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Old Sep 3, 2013, 03:29 PM   #85
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Well today she came with her mom and brother and moved all of her stuff out... I pussied out and went to uni to return books and other items as well as go through my list of phone calls as I just couldn't deal with it.

Then the charity shop came to pick up the furniture we didn't want and I am sitting alone drinking heavily in an empty house, my bro comes in a couple of days to pick me up.

It's just ****ed up, but GreyGhost is right, it's not just women. Both men and women can be as ****ed up as each other.

I don't blame her and I don't hate women, that is not going to be helpful, I just need to rebuild again.
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Old Sep 3, 2013, 03:47 PM   #86
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I still think you're entitled to blame her at least a little, but it's okay. I'm going to reiterate what I said a few days ago, though: no executive decisions about anything until after you've sobered up, man.
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Old Sep 3, 2013, 03:51 PM   #87
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Old Sep 3, 2013, 04:07 PM   #88
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John, just gotta say that your attitude is a good one. Hang in there and lay off the sauce. It only covers up the pain temporarily. You gotta deal with it head-on.
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Old Sep 3, 2013, 04:44 PM   #89
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Thanks guys.

Just spoke to my oldest friend Sanjeev for an hour or so who I haven't seen for a long time, he's like a brother to me and my god has he changed and all has been forgiven.

Going to meet up with his old ass soon (hes 15 years older than me) I really cannot wait to catch up.

Something to look forward to
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Old Sep 3, 2013, 05:01 PM   #90
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