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Old Aug 31, 2013, 05:29 PM   #1
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JohnEJohn
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Default It just gets better O_O

I'm sure most of you know the shitty year I have endured well today it got even better, my partner of almost five years out of the blue said she's leaving me.

The reasons three fold, she has changed since we met, wants to do other things and we have drifted as I have been working so hard...

I worked hard for the two of us, we were both on board and knew that after this we would be in a good position... I will be earning very good money soon but hey what's life plans eh?

That's all I know as she left and I'm all alone with no one and I have just over a week until I am truly homeless as we were moving in with her mother until I start work, well I thought that we were.

Apparently she has pre planned this for months and wanted to wait until I finished uni first, glad she had plans as I am now ****ed and I honestly believed that this woman had my back, I had hers and would do anything for her.

So there you go, failed marriage wasted a good few years of my life then 5 on this, but hey what's five years eh?

I did say that one more thing would break me and to be honest it has, I have never felt like ceasing to exist before even with my failed marriage as I thought this was it but I really have hit the end game.
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 05:33 PM   #2
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Well that sucks rocks. I'm sorry.
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 05:36 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnEJohn View Post
So there you go, failed marriage wasted a good few years of my life then 5 on this, but hey what's five years eh?

I did say that one more thing would break me and to be honest it has, I have never felt like ceasing to exist before even with my failed marriage as I thought this was it but I really have hit the end game.
I would not put it that way. You learned and grew in that time. Find someone who shares the same goals.
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 05:41 PM   #4
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I know how you feel man, wasted 3 and a half years on a woman that "had my back" too.

All I can say is I hope for the best man!
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 05:42 PM   #5
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Seek any friends, family or any relationships you have right now to hold tight to. Do not give up. Remember that even strangers, like we at R3D, can have your back.

Seriously, do not give up, you are worth more than the situations life throws at you.
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 05:44 PM   #6
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sorry man
im having girl troubles myself right now.. not fun..


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Old Aug 31, 2013, 06:06 PM   #7
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Thanks for the wishes guys and I know that you are right but I have downward spiralled so much that I think I may not be able to pick myself up now.

I feel like such a ****, over the past few weeks I have been helping her pack her mothers car with her stuff as I was finishing my project as I believed that we were moving there and I said I would sort my stuff out asap and then move it across. Instead I have helped move out the woman that I love, yes I have actually helped move her out of my life without even ****ing realising.

The **** I have gone though this year is bad enough but now this on top its overwhelming, I also have other possible stuff that may be happening to me and I am totally rock bottom.

As for friends, I moved 200 miles to be with her years ago, the good old friends that I do have are all now married with kids.

My only option is my parents which I am going to have to take, haven't spoken to them yet and it will be difficult as me an my father are very different people.
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 06:11 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by JohnEJohn View Post
Thanks for the wishes guys and I know that you are right but I have downward spiralled so much that I think I may not be able to pick myself up now.

I feel like such a ****, over the past few weeks I have been helping her pack her mothers car with her stuff as I was finishing my project as I believed that we were moving there and I said I would sort my stuff out asap and then move it across. Instead I have helped move out the woman that I love, yes I have actually helped move her out of my life without even ****ing realising.

The **** I have gone though this year is bad enough but now this on top its overwhelming, I also have other possible stuff that may be happening to me and I am totally rock bottom.

As for friends, I moved 200 miles to be with her years ago, the good old friends that I do have are all now married with kids.

My only option is my parents which I am going to have to take, haven't spoken to them yet and it will be difficult as me an my father are very different people.
Bite the bullet. Being around family and friends will do wonders for you at this point. Reconnect with your friends, IMO, you should have never left your life to start one with her, but that's another story.

It's rare that a woman leaves a man without another lifeboat to jump on (another man or in this case, your mother's place). Don't take it to heart, she had plans on it for quite some time and didn't have the courage or decency to let you in on it until the last moment. You were doing what you believed was in the best interest of the relationship, don't beat yourself up.
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 02:00 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by JohnEJohn View Post
Thanks for the wishes guys and I know that you are right but I have downward spiralled so much that I think I may not be able to pick myself up now.

I feel like such a ****, over the past few weeks I have been helping her pack her mothers car with her stuff as I was finishing my project as I believed that we were moving there and I said I would sort my stuff out asap and then move it across. Instead I have helped move out the woman that I love, yes I have actually helped move her out of my life without even ****ing realising.

The **** I have gone though this year is bad enough but now this on top its overwhelming, I also have other possible stuff that may be happening to me and I am totally rock bottom.

As for friends, I moved 200 miles to be with her years ago, the good old friends that I do have are all now married with kids.

My only option is my parents which I am going to have to take, haven't spoken to them yet and it will be difficult as me an my father are very different people.
Dude sorry to hear.

But fck it... she seriously dropping you without a home etc. WTF is wrong with her? She should has spoken up the first time she felt "different".

Like a friend says.. it's not the fall, it's the standing up. Be strong!!
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 06:05 PM   #10
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5 years is a small price to pay for the opportunity to find the right one and properly build your future. Appreciate finding out now rather than 15 years down the road.
They're not replaceable.
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 06:30 PM   #11
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You know what this means? There's a world of women out there who are no longer of limits. Enjoy the buffet. Distract yourself and this too will pass in time.

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Old Aug 31, 2013, 06:36 PM   #12
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Based on what you've told us, I'd say something is wrong with her not you. And not to make light of it all, but at least be glad you only wasted 5 years with her. Count your blessings.
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 06:47 PM   #13
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Thanks guys, means a lot to me as I am very isolated, I gave everything up for her, did everything for her and worked my sacks off to secure a future for us.

I tried calling her but she has deactivated her account....

I have been drinking, that was a definite mistake as I am listening to not very helpful music.

We all have faults and I am no exception, I think that by working so hard I may have doomed the relationship although that was agreed upon to secure a future but it obviously took its toll.

I mean I helped her to walk out of my life by packin her **** and I cannot get over that.

I know there are many more fish in the sea etc etc but I will tell you and I may regret this when I am not dunk but:

When my marriage broke down due to similar reasons (I was at work too much!!!!1111!!) I had to remove my stuff from the house whilst the son I helped raise was crying his eyes out as I was going and was clinging on to my leg, I had to remove and comfort him whilst I was screamed at by her whilst comforting him knowing that I would never EVER see him again., it tore me to pieces and it still does, thinking what has become of him, I often dream about him even now wondering how he is doing.

Despite that, this is somehow worse as I honestly believed that I would never have to worry again.

Now here I am again but I have nothing.
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 06:55 PM   #14
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Even now you've still got a ways to go before you hit "nothing," man. Just, please, no executive decisions about anything until long after you've sobered up...and never mind calling her. At least right now. You'll have a chance to be civil, but for right now just be.
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 07:09 PM   #15
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You are now free to change your life on your own terms.

Why did you move away from all your family "for her"?

What kind of wife would ask such a thing?

Also, she already disconnected her line?

Ha...
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 07:09 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by JohnEJohn View Post

We all have faults and I am no exception, I think that by working so hard I may have doomed the relationship although that was agreed upon to secure a future but it obviously took its toll.
Dude, you did nothing wrong. You have to work and to succeed you have to work hard. Unless she wanted you to be a chav there's nothing else you could have done. She knew what she was getting into. That's not your fault. At any rate you working hard was just an excuse. She had this planned for MONTHS according to you. That should tell you something right there. Instead of talking to you about it she decided she wanted out. She's not worth getting upset over.

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Old Sep 1, 2013, 12:33 AM   #17
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I've been in your shoes. Found out my ex-fiance cheated on me with a mutual friend of ours, that was 5 years down the drain, then had a horrendous marriage that thankfully only costed me 3 years, and sometimes I question my relationship with my gf now.

You grow with each failed relationship.
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 07:16 PM   #18
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Now here I am again but I have nothing.
Bullshit. You've got us.....I know that isn't much but hell, some people don't even have a weird homoerotic online forum that they can turn to!

On a more serious note, if you EVER need to talk PM me and I'll send over my cell number.
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 07:26 PM   #19
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Bullshit. You've got us.....I know that isn't much but hell, some people don't even have a weird homoerotic online forum that they can turn to!

On a more serious note, if you EVER need to talk PM me and I'll send over my cell number.
You guys mean a lot to me, I can't even bein to describe how good it is to vent.

Cyko man, you have gone out of your way to make me grounded so many times, I cannot thank you enough, for tonight text is good as I am completely ****ed up, my limey self can be found by the skype id johnejohn3

You guys have no idea how much these messages mean to me, I am sttill in shock to be honest and alone
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 07:51 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by JohnEJohn View Post
Thanks guys, means a lot to me as I am very isolated, I gave everything up for her, did everything for her and worked my sacks off to secure a future for us.

I tried calling her but she has deactivated her account....

I have been drinking, that was a definite mistake as I am listening to not very helpful music.

We all have faults and I am no exception, I think that by working so hard I may have doomed the relationship although that was agreed upon to secure a future but it obviously took its toll.

I mean I helped her to walk out of my life by packin her **** and I cannot get over that.

I know there are many more fish in the sea etc etc but I will tell you and I may regret this when I am not dunk but:

When my marriage broke down due to similar reasons (I was at work too much!!!!1111!!) I had to remove my stuff from the house whilst the son I helped raise was crying his eyes out as I was going and was clinging on to my leg, I had to remove and comfort him whilst I was screamed at by her whilst comforting him knowing that I would never EVER see him again., it tore me to pieces and it still does, thinking what has become of him, I often dream about him even now wondering how he is doing.

Despite that, this is somehow worse as I honestly believed that I would never have to worry again.

Now here I am again but I have nothing.
Depression and self-loathing is addictive. Don't fall into the trap. TRUST ME. Throw away your Cure albums and go outside. Don't contact her. At all. She calls, don't answer.

Secondly, really analyze the type of woman you're attracted to. You might be going after a relationship you subconsciously know is already doomed.
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 08:01 PM   #21
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John this is rage...bunch of nasty people like me. But if your in trouble the tune changes. We will do what we can to look out for you.

Don't take it so hard. As others have said if she planned to snake you for so long your better off with her gone.
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 08:04 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by JohnEJohn View Post
it tore me to pieces and it still does, thinking what has become of him, I often dream about him even now wondering how he is doing.
Unless there's a large angry man who's going to throw you in a canal with concrete boots, or a policeman who'll put you gaol, find him and reconnect with him.
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 08:12 PM   #23
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Reconnecting has gotten me tossed in jail a couple times.

Maybe your version is different than mine
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Old Aug 31, 2013, 06:54 PM   #24
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The only thing you did wrong was have **** luck. This is her bullshit, not yours.

I once fell in love with a woman and went into a depression for two months after we broke up. You go over what happened in your head and ask yourself over and over what you could have done differently. You'll get better eventually... but until then you feel like ****.
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 01:30 PM   #25
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Geez you've had a run of it. I hope all looks up soon. We always look back at these most difficult times in life and think - I got through. You will get through!
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 01:39 PM   #26
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Been there, done that. And yeah, it sucks. I know this is cliché, but it will get better with time. At some point, it won't hurt so much.

Take care of yourself. Learn to like yourself and like being alone with yourself and the rest of life becomes a lot easier. It's easier said than done, but it's worth working towards that.

Take care John, and best wishes.
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 08:48 PM   #27
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No sucky?
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Old Sep 1, 2013, 09:27 PM   #28
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No sucky?
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