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Old Sep 3, 2013, 04:03 PM   #91
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JohnEJohn
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Indeed, nothing like catching up with old friends, we both have some good story's to tell, that's for sure

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Old Sep 7, 2013, 07:41 PM   #92
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all I can say is be warned, one minute you're being adored, the next your scrotum is on a platter.

#**** it sall, judt **** it/

'i gave up evrtything sandf changed myself but it was not enough, there cannot be enough.

I have no one now, how can you justify that as a 30 year old? It's ****ed up.
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Old Sep 7, 2013, 07:58 PM   #93
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I know how you feel man.
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Old Sep 7, 2013, 08:42 PM   #94
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Originally Posted by JohnEJohn View Post
all I can say is be warned, one minute you're being adored, the next your scrotum is on a platter.

#**** it sall, judt **** it/

'i gave up evrtything sandf changed myself but it was not enough, there cannot be enough.

I have no one now, how can you justify that as a 30 year old? It's ****ed up.
Well for starters alchohol isn't really a friend. Right now you are better off distancing yourself from the booze.

Secondly- you do have friends that care. Every one of us. Think that doesn't matter? Think we don't count? Then returned all of the damned money we gave you to help you out.

Now, if my point isn't missed on you, put the damned bottle away, and start figuring out how to move on. This does not include guilt tripping yourself or blaming yourself. There are lessons to be learned from this, learn them, and become better because of it.

The future is what you make of it. Ball is in your court.
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Old Sep 7, 2013, 08:52 PM   #95
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnEJohn View Post
all I can say is be warned, one minute you're being adored, the next your scrotum is on a platter.

#**** it sall, judt **** it/

'i gave up evrtything sandf changed myself but it was not enough, there cannot be enough.

I have no one now, how can you justify that as a 30 year old? It's ****ed up.
Stop blaming yourself buddy. She's the one that pulled a fast one on you. That tells me there's a real good chance that she was the problem not you.

Try to go easier on yourself - every single thing I've seen from you here tells me you are one decent, stand up kind of guy. Ride this out, it will get better.
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Old Sep 7, 2013, 08:58 PM   #96
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Originally Posted by Redeemed View Post
*snip*
You know bud - there's a time for tough love...

... and then there are guys who just had their nuts ripped off and got punched in the face with them and could use a little support.
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Old Sep 7, 2013, 09:14 PM   #97
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Originally Posted by JohnEJohn View Post
all I can say is be warned, one minute you're being adored, the next your scrotum is on a platter.

#**** it sall, judt **** it/

'i gave up evrtything sandf changed myself but it was not enough, there cannot be enough.

I have no one now, how can you justify that as a 30 year old? It's ****ed up.
Dude, I'm 31 living in my parents basement, I have no one. My ex left me last September, showed up on my doorstep and told me my job wasn't good enough, my home wasn't good enough and left. She never even had a job nor a home to live in. I work for an asshole who constantly blames me for **** that goes wrong even when I am not there. People at work get a kick out of it so they say I was the one that screwed something up just so they can see him yell at me, I can't trust anyone there. My best bud now lives and works 600KM away and I might see him once a month. My brother and sister inlaw are constantly out of money, never hear from them unless something is needed. Sometimes I have to call them just to get them to talk with my mom and stepfather. Last night I took my stepfather to the Eskimo's game, bought two tickets and asked for seating in the handicap area's as my stepfather has an old football injury and he requires a cane, they sat us 10 rows back from the field, we had to walk down 30 stairs to get to our seats and walk back up, he's in huge pain and we left at half because he couldn't go down and backup again. All the weight that I lost 2 years ago I put back on, can't make the gym since I work so much, constantly stressed out to the point of a nervous break down.

But you want to know what I do? I deal with it, the best I can. I get up every morning regardless if I don't want to, go to work and come home after 14 hours, make dinner sometimes do the yard work if I couldn't do it during the weekend as I am working then as well, watch some TV, put up with KAC hitting on me and go to bed and do it all over again the next morning.

So what I can suggest, do what you want to do, from the sounds of it you tried to change who you are and you should never do that for any bitch. She can't accept you for who you are then **** her, she'll degrade and bring down the next guy, and the next guy and the next guy. And while she's doing that, you'll be living the high life, you'll have someone a lot better in your life. Hell mother****er, you were the one that found M4trix's info for me so I could call his dumbass and make sure he was still alive so just look at his situation.

You'll survive this, just like the rest of us have I assure you.

Now I am gonna go find something on TV as its a Saturday night and I have no one either, maybe I'll download some porn, go to 7/11 grab some chips and some peanut butter cups and enjoy my weekend. Hell maybe I'll even get that third 780 tomorrow that I keep telling everyone I am going to get but never do.
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Old Sep 7, 2013, 09:24 PM   #98
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John, if you can read this get on Skype.
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Old Sep 7, 2013, 09:27 PM   #99
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**** hap, thanks for replying man, to all of you all actually included redeemed as sometimes in these situations you do need a kick in the nuts to snap you out of it.

As of two days ago i live with my parents, bro, his daughter and partner, yes it's a 4/5 bed house but I have been self sufficient for such a long time, not sure if i can handle it.... greatful of course though.

Partners mom is beside herself and wants me to try everything as she agrees that she has fallen since uni/house etc and she is a psychiatrist !

Question is how long can i now give this, I have done and tried everything and it is making me ill.
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Old Sep 7, 2013, 09:35 PM   #100
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Anaconda is on TV right now, gonna run to the 7/11 and get some snacks.
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Old Sep 7, 2013, 09:48 PM   #101
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Originally Posted by JohnEJohn View Post
**** hap, thanks for replying man, to all of you all actually included redeemed as sometimes in these situations you do need a kick in the nuts to snap you out of it.

As of two days ago i live with my parents, bro, his daughter and partner, yes it's a 4/5 bed house but I have been self sufficient for such a long time, not sure if i can handle it.... greatful of course though.

Partners mom is beside herself and wants me to try everything as she agrees that she has fallen since uni/house etc and she is a psychiatrist !

Question is how long can i now give this, I have done and tried everything and it is making me ill.
You sound like you're looking for a quick solution, and obviously there isn't one. Especially not from a bottle. Try to surround yourself with people who love you and support you and take it day by day. That's pretty much all you can do.
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Old Sep 7, 2013, 09:53 PM   #102
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I feel for ya John. We can give you all the advice in the world, but it doesn't change anything. A lot of us have had a woman royally screw us over, so we understand what you're going through, at least to a degree. Try to focus on being positive...no sad movies, music, etc.

You'll be just fine mate. If I can do it, you can too.
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Old Sep 7, 2013, 10:02 PM   #103
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Originally Posted by Hapatingjaky View Post
Dude, I'm 31 living in my parents basement, I have no one. My ex left me last September, showed up on my doorstep and told me my job wasn't good enough, my home wasn't good enough and left. She never even had a job nor a home to live in. I work for an asshole who constantly blames me for **** that goes wrong even when I am not there. People at work get a kick out of it so they say I was the one that screwed something up just so they can see him yell at me, I can't trust anyone there. My best bud now lives and works 600KM away and I might see him once a month. My brother and sister inlaw are constantly out of money, never hear from them unless something is needed. Sometimes I have to call them just to get them to talk with my mom and stepfather. Last night I took my stepfather to the Eskimo's game, bought two tickets and asked for seating in the handicap area's as my stepfather has an old football injury and he requires a cane, they sat us 10 rows back from the field, we had to walk down 30 stairs to get to our seats and walk back up, he's in huge pain and we left at half because he couldn't go down and backup again. All the weight that I lost 2 years ago I put back on, can't make the gym since I work so much, constantly stressed out to the point of a nervous break down.

But you want to know what I do? I deal with it, the best I can. I get up every morning regardless if I don't want to, go to work and come home after 14 hours, make dinner sometimes do the yard work if I couldn't do it during the weekend as I am working then as well, watch some TV, put up with KAC hitting on me and go to bed and do it all over again the next morning.

So what I can suggest, do what you want to do, from the sounds of it you tried to change who you are and you should never do that for any bitch. She can't accept you for who you are then **** her, she'll degrade and bring down the next guy, and the next guy and the next guy. And while she's doing that, you'll be living the high life, you'll have someone a lot better in your life. Hell mother****er, you were the one that found M4trix's info for me so I could call his dumbass and make sure he was still alive so just look at his situation.

You'll survive this, just like the rest of us have I assure you.

Now I am gonna go find something on TV as its a Saturday night and I have no one either, maybe I'll download some porn, go to 7/11 grab some chips and some peanut butter cups and enjoy my weekend. Hell maybe I'll even get that third 780 tomorrow that I keep telling everyone I am going to get but never do.
Wow.

*manly hug*


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Originally Posted by JohnEJohn View Post
**** hap, thanks for replying man, to all of you all actually included redeemed as sometimes in these situations you do need a kick in the nuts to snap you out of it.

As of two days ago i live with my parents, bro, his daughter and partner, yes it's a 4/5 bed house but I have been self sufficient for such a long time, not sure if i can handle it.... greatful of course though.

Partners mom is beside herself and wants me to try everything as she agrees that she has fallen since uni/house etc and she is a psychiatrist !

Question is how long can i now give this, I have done and tried everything and it is making me ill.
You've got this JohnEJohn. I believe it goes without saying that this entire community is here for you. Obviously I can't speak for each and every member here, but I do believe we've made it clear that you are cared about. People do give a damn what's going on in your life. You have value here, to each one of us. And never let the bottle tell you other wise.

You have been, and will remain in my prayers buddy. Though it may be tempting try to leave the booze alone. Keep a clear and sober head, you're going to need it through this. You need to rediscover who you are as an individual, you gotta' get your identity back. And then let the wounds heal, absorbing every possible lesson you can from this experience. This makes you more, this makes you better, than whom you were. But it takes time, you've just got to be willing to walk this thing out though.

We're all rooting for you, bro. You've got this, man- you've got this.
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Old Sep 7, 2013, 10:04 PM   #104
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I feel for ya John. We can give you all the advice in the world, but it doesn't change anything. A lot of us have had a woman royally screw us over, so we understand what you're going through, at least to a degree. Try to focus on being positive...no sad movies, music, etc.

You'll be just fine mate. If I can do it, you can too.
Anytime I feel as though I've hit rock bottom, I just read through General Lee's post history.


Dammit that was mean. I'm sorry bud, but the opportunity was just too great.
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There are two types of people in the world: those that are humble and those that will be.
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Old Sep 7, 2013, 10:32 PM   #105
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Anytime I feel as though I've hit rock bottom, I just read through General Lee's post history.


Dammit that was mean. I'm sorry bud, but the opportunity was just too great.
That was funny.
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All I am envisioning right now is the General Lee car with no paint, Cheetos stuffed into the gas tank, and coming out the tail pipe, in a huge pool of Jello :p
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Old Sep 7, 2013, 10:34 PM   #106
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Possibly apropos of nothing, but I find it rather comforting--in its way--that said ex's mother seems to be on John's side (or at least sympathetic to his plight) in this mess. It's a small thing, but still...it means more people care, and that's never a bad thing.

And, hell, you still have time to get from where you are now



to somewhere a little better headspace-wise, like




So hang in there, man. We're pulling for you. To repeat:

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Old Oct 12, 2013, 06:58 AM   #107
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hey man, your spammage has been way down lately...how's it going?

Hope things are looking up for you
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Old Oct 12, 2013, 02:21 PM   #108
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I'm kinda getting back on track thanks

She kept me going for 3 weeks on Skype talking for several hours per day whilst she 'sorted her head out' then 10 days ago told me it was over again... I knew it would end that way but what can you do lol, at least looking back on it I can say that I tried.

A few days back it was her birthday which was a little hard.

Settled into my parents new house now and have a few projects I'm working on whilst looking for the idea job if it crops up but giving myself until Christmas to see if I can make it alone.

Created a few websites for cash just to keep off the boredom and met with an old friend who wants me to set up a shop as he has a chain but I'm not interested as it's not the direction I wish to go in. Created a website for his cousin for free as it may come in handy as she's a venture capitalist and it just so happens that I may need some funding soon for one of my projects, it's funny how life works out some times.

I'm also now off the booze and started a good diet and exercise regime and I'm traveling to Bristol over the next few weeks as there's a load of app developers seminars which I'm getting free of charge courtesy of my old professor.

Trying to keep myself occupied as much as possible, also cannot wait until I can move out..... I have been independent for years and it's very odd going back home.... although it's nice to have Sunday dinner cooked for you
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Old Oct 12, 2013, 05:39 PM   #109
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Old Oct 12, 2013, 05:58 PM   #110
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Hey Dave

Btw I'm sharing the house with my parents, brother, niece and his partner.
Its a 4.5 bed 3 story house but still pretty dammed cosy
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Old Oct 12, 2013, 06:36 PM   #111
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Hey Dave

Btw I'm sharing the house with my parents, brother, niece and his partner.
Its a 4.5 bed 3 story house but still pretty dammed cosy
too much family in one place for me
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Old Oct 12, 2013, 06:55 PM   #112
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Tell me about it mate lol.... got a young child potty training, 3 neurotic cats and a jack Russell with a lampshade on as she just had an ass tumour removed. .. it's like a freak show here
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Old Oct 12, 2013, 11:20 PM   #113
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Tell me about it mate lol.... got a young child potty training, 3 neurotic cats and a jack Russell with a lampshade on as she just had an ass tumour removed. .. it's like a freak show here
Sounds like a show, just remember that your parents' place is NOT Rage 3D.

Remember to stay away from the booze and sad music, especially country music. If you must listen to country, play it backwards. You get your woman back, the dog comes back to life, Momma pops out from under the train, and it stops raining.
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Old Oct 13, 2013, 02:06 AM   #114
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Sounds like a show, just remember that your parents' place is NOT Rage 3D.

Remember to stay away from the booze and sad music, especially country music. If you must listen to country, play it backwards. You get your woman back, the dog comes back to life, Momma pops out from under the train, and it stops raining.
Oh man, I am so stealing that quote.
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I've been praying for your nuts.
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If you must listen to country [music], play it backwards. You get your woman back, the dog comes back to life, Momma pops out from under the train, and it stops raining. :)
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I'd bet it would be fun to do him up the ass.
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Old Oct 13, 2013, 09:42 AM   #115
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Hey Dave

Btw I'm sharing the house with my parents, brother, niece and his partner.
Its a 4.5 bed 3 story house but still pretty dammed cosy
wait, wat? "Niece and his partner"?

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Old Oct 13, 2013, 09:45 AM   #116
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wait, wat? "Niece and his partner"?

I saw that too, just was not sure how to respond, but you nailed it.
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Old Oct 13, 2013, 10:07 AM   #117
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Oops I missed that , obviously I meant my brothers partner
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Old Oct 13, 2013, 10:30 PM   #118
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Oh man, I am so stealing that quote.
Sometimes, it would be nice if that worked. Shoot, I'd take just the dog and call it even, lol.
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Old Oct 14, 2013, 01:12 AM   #119
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Dude, I'm 31 living in my parents basement, I have no one. My ex left me last September, showed up on my doorstep and told me my job wasn't good enough, my home wasn't good enough and left. She never even had a job nor a home to live in. I work for an asshole who constantly blames me for **** that goes wrong even when I am not there. People at work get a kick out of it so they say I was the one that screwed something up just so they can see him yell at me, I can't trust anyone there. My best bud now lives and works 600KM away and I might see him once a month. My brother and sister inlaw are constantly out of money, never hear from them unless something is needed. Sometimes I have to call them just to get them to talk with my mom and stepfather. Last night I took my stepfather to the Eskimo's game, bought two tickets and asked for seating in the handicap area's as my stepfather has an old football injury and he requires a cane, they sat us 10 rows back from the field, we had to walk down 30 stairs to get to our seats and walk back up, he's in huge pain and we left at half because he couldn't go down and backup again. All the weight that I lost 2 years ago I put back on, can't make the gym since I work so much, constantly stressed out to the point of a nervous break down.

But you want to know what I do? I deal with it, the best I can. I get up every morning regardless if I don't want to, go to work and come home after 14 hours, make dinner sometimes do the yard work if I couldn't do it during the weekend as I am working then as well, watch some TV, put up with KAC hitting on me and go to bed and do it all over again the next morning.

So what I can suggest, do what you want to do, from the sounds of it you tried to change who you are and you should never do that for any bitch. She can't accept you for who you are then **** her, she'll degrade and bring down the next guy, and the next guy and the next guy. And while she's doing that, you'll be living the high life, you'll have someone a lot better in your life. Hell mother****er, you were the one that found M4trix's info for me so I could call his dumbass and make sure he was still alive so just look at his situation.

You'll survive this, just like the rest of us have I assure you.

Now I am gonna go find something on TV as its a Saturday night and I have no one either, maybe I'll download some porn, go to 7/11 grab some chips and some peanut butter cups and enjoy my weekend. Hell maybe I'll even get that third 780 tomorrow that I keep telling everyone I am going to get but never do.
And thanks for making the call
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Old Oct 14, 2013, 01:18 AM   #120
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I'm kinda getting back on track thanks

She kept me going for 3 weeks on Skype talking for several hours per day whilst she 'sorted her head out' then 10 days ago told me it was over again... I knew it would end that way but what can you do lol, at least looking back on it I can say that I tried.

A few days back it was her birthday which was a little hard.

Settled into my parents new house now and have a few projects I'm working on whilst looking for the idea job if it crops up but giving myself until Christmas to see if I can make it alone.

Created a few websites for cash just to keep off the boredom and met with an old friend who wants me to set up a shop as he has a chain but I'm not interested as it's not the direction I wish to go in. Created a website for his cousin for free as it may come in handy as she's a venture capitalist and it just so happens that I may need some funding soon for one of my projects, it's funny how life works out some times.

I'm also now off the booze and started a good diet and exercise regime and I'm traveling to Bristol over the next few weeks as there's a load of app developers seminars which I'm getting free of charge courtesy of my old professor.

Trying to keep myself occupied as much as possible, also cannot wait until I can move out..... I have been independent for years and it's very odd going back home.... although it's nice to have Sunday dinner cooked for you
That worked for me after some time to. Some times it takes some really hard times to learn who is really there for you. Took me about a year to get through all this.
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