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Old Dec 16, 2019, 11:16 PM   #1
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A2597
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Default OK, I'll ask...(Family help...)

OK, I've pondered posting this probably a dozen times over the past few months, then always close the browser before posting it...but here goes.

My cousin and his family have been having a rough go this past couple years. He basically suffered a breakdown that has left him battling massive anxiety (think panic attack that doesn't go away) along with severe depression. I'll spare all the details, but it's been rough, and he's been out of work for awhile now as a result. (He's tried, but just can't, and the attempt leaves him in a state where he can't leave the house, or worse...).

As if that wasn't bad enough, his dad passed away a few weeks ago, which hasn't helped (understatement of the year). He was only 60 something, so...not young, but not old either.

We've helped out as much as we can, he's trying to get disability but that process takes ages, especially with mental issues. He took out all of his retirement savings to try and stay afloat, but that's long gone. We help as much as we're able, but they are kinda in a desperate spot right now and we're past the point of being able to help in a significant way. (As are any other family members who had been in a position to help). His wife's tried to get jobs, but she hasn't had much luck, and certainly not enough to help them keep afloat.

So...I guess I'll ask here if anyone wants to, or can, help. I set up a GoFundMe for them awhile back, but it hasn't received much traction. I wouldn't post if I didn't believe they were trying, and I know this isn't really the place to ask for hand outs. I just really hate to see them in this place right now. I know it's holidays, and everyone's cash strapped as it is...but...worth a shot. I've seen this community do some amazing things, ya'll have some big hearts.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-support-the-dodsons
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Old Dec 17, 2019, 10:00 AM   #2
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I pitched in $10. Its not much but its what I can afford right now.

I've got family members who suffer from these same type of anxiety issues so I know how debilitating it can be. Wishing them well and hope they can have a nice holiday season.
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Old Dec 17, 2019, 10:40 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meteor_of_War View Post
I pitched in $10. Its not much but its what I can afford right now.

I've got family members who suffer from these same type of anxiety issues so I know how debilitating it can be. Wishing them well and hope they can have a nice holiday season.
Thank you so much! Honestly that helps more than you know right now!
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Old Dec 17, 2019, 11:04 AM   #4
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No problem! I'm sure a few more Rage3d'rs will also kick in a few contributions that will add up to a nice amount.
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Old Dec 17, 2019, 12:46 PM   #5
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God Bless and Merry Christmas!! ^_^
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Old Dec 17, 2019, 12:55 PM   #6
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I had a severe anxiety issue like he did myself. I used to suffer from horrible panic attacks in my late teens to early twenties. There is always a source, always a trigger but it can sometimes take awhile to figure out what it is. Once you identify the trigger you have to face it. This is the only cure for something like this, and in my case it worked for me.

Now I'm stable, working, living on my own, have a g/f and doing well. Something had to trigger his panic attacks, was it the loss of his job? Marital problems? About to lose his house?
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Old Dec 17, 2019, 02:25 PM   #7
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Wow you guys, thank you! And David extends his thanks as well!

xCLAVEx, glad you're on the other side of it. If I had to guess, I think it's related to the sudden death of his mother several (9?) years ago. Something happened more recently though, you are right. He lost his job due to the panic attacks, he had worked at the same company for over 20 years and they worked with him for months to try to help him, but in the end had to let him go.
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But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that you should show forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light.
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Old Dec 17, 2019, 07:37 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by A2597 View Post
Wow you guys, thank you! And David extends his thanks as well!

xCLAVEx, glad you're on the other side of it. If I had to guess, I think it's related to the sudden death of his mother several (9?) years ago. Something happened more recently though, you are right. He lost his job due to the panic attacks, he had worked at the same company for over 20 years and they worked with him for months to try to help him, but in the end had to let him go.
I lost my mom too unexpectedly, but ironically that is partly what forced me to overcome my anxiety. I knew I had to do something and so for a few years after that I started taking baby steps to get out of it. Over time, it worked and I was able to fully recover. In the end though, no amount of medication or therapy would have helped, I had to do it myself...it's the only way.
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Old Dec 17, 2019, 08:42 PM   #9
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My trigger was driving after having a panic attack after leaving the gym one day in my car. I tried drugs, and they helped, but not completely. You really just have to find the trigger as xclave said, and push through it. I'm still not comfortable driving long distances alone, but the further I go the better I get.


Best of luck to him in beating his anxiety.
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Old Dec 17, 2019, 11:15 PM   #10
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A2597, good on you for having the courage to share.

Mental health issues are everywhere, and there's no shame in talking about them.
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Old Dec 18, 2019, 08:26 AM   #11
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To add to Clave's point, finding the source is key but there are so many distractions right now
that it he will never allow the time for that search.

The key is meditation and being able to quiet down all his outside problems
so he can listen and hear is inner problems.

Two books that helped me tremendously are:
Feeling Good:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feelin...w_Mood_Therapy

And Where ever you go, there you are:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_Kabat-Zinn

Wish him well for me, but remember, uncover and face the subconscious memories
or carry them forever.

Let me know if I can help as I am on the tail end of a breakdown myself...
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Old Dec 19, 2019, 03:21 PM   #12
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Thanks again guys! Truly truely appreciate the help. You literally put food on their table. (and more besides!). Some good news is I think the food situation is resolved for the time being, but not joking that some of the GoFundMe funds went towards food when they ran out. Rest is probably going towards rent and utilities.
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Old Dec 20, 2019, 10:08 AM   #13
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Make sure he understands that there IS hope.
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Old Dec 20, 2019, 11:56 AM   #14
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How much extra you need? What's a month or 2 worth of bills cost?
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Old Dec 20, 2019, 12:05 PM   #15
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I don't have much, but Ragers came to my aid when I needed donations, so I'll do my best to pay it forward. Hope it all works out.
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Old Dec 20, 2019, 12:55 PM   #16
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Quote:
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How much extra you need? What's a month or 2 worth of bills cost?
Their rent runs 500 something, dunno about the rest.
Mid January we'll hopefully know more about his Disability.


Thanks Munkus!
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Old Dec 20, 2019, 04:39 PM   #17
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Hope he pulls through this. I know how debilitating severe anxiety can be and while I don't suffer from it anymore, I am aware of how it can turn your thoughts into hell.
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Old Dec 21, 2019, 06:29 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A2597 View Post
Their rent runs 500 something, dunno about the rest.
Mid January we'll hopefully know more about his Disability.


Thanks Munkus!
Alright. Can't cover the whole month but I can do 1/2 (little tight right now). Anyone care to match the donation?
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Old Dec 31, 2019, 05:17 PM   #19
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Small update.

They have been blown away that a group of people they never met from the internet are helping out! While you guys were helping cover bills (They now have January rent covered, between here and some of their friends and selling some things) my wife and I got a group of our friends to help with Christmas for their kids.

Their daughter was the most shocked, she just turned 18 and assumed that she would be getting nothing due to her parents situation. Their son is 10, managed to get him some of the things he wanted, mostly retro video game stuff because he's gotten into it a little and I think he thought it would be cheaper (Gameboy color and Pokemon games), we got him the Gameboy SP and pokemon ruby red so he could play the original pokemon games, but with a lit screen. (Plus a few other games and other items on and off his list).

Fingers crossed that they get good news this month, they need it.
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Old Dec 31, 2019, 06:10 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A2597 View Post
Small update.

They have been blown away that a group of people they never met from the internet are helping out! While you guys were helping cover bills (They now have January rent covered, between here and some of their friends and selling some things) my wife and I got a group of our friends to help with Christmas for their kids.

Their daughter was the most shocked, she just turned 18 and assumed that she would be getting nothing due to her parents situation. Their son is 10, managed to get him some of the things he wanted, mostly retro video game stuff because he's gotten into it a little and I think he thought it would be cheaper (Gameboy color and Pokemon games), we got him the Gameboy SP and pokemon ruby red so he could play the original pokemon games, but with a lit screen. (Plus a few other games and other items on and off his list).

Fingers crossed that they get good news this month, they need it.



There are some good games on the gameboy SP.
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Old Jan 1, 2020, 07:56 AM   #21
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This is what people do. Unfortunately, as soon as you turn on the news,
you get a totally other story. But looking at archaeological shows from the UK,
thousands of years ago, people lived in bands and villages and took care of each other

This is what we do

So sun peaks through the clouds for the kids, but how is David doing?
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Old Jan 1, 2020, 09:00 AM   #22
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The "news" would have you believe we're all out to kill each other. That's why I just tuned out, and enjoy living with those around me.
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Old Jan 1, 2020, 08:22 PM   #23
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Hard to say how he's doing. He actually came to our house for Christmas, which we were happy for, but I dont know if hes left their place since then.
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Old Jan 2, 2020, 06:56 PM   #24
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It's OK, he feels in distress right now, over time, he will home in on HOW he feels
and will figure out he is not in danger.

In the beginning, every day seems like you are in distress, simply because
the emotional manifestations are so overwhelming and unknown.

IS IT REALLY IMPORTANT TO HAVE HIM TALK ABOUT HIS EXPERIENCE.
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