7 Terrifying Giant Versions of Scary Critters

Hidavi · Aug 21, 2009, 11:28 AM

http://www.cracked.com/article_17579...-critters.html

Also, coconut crabs are awesome!!!

Holy ****! Is it Dangerous?
OK, none of those three crabs are typically a threat to people, but we assume that's only because of their lack of organization. The coconut crab, for example, is so named because it uses its claws to tear open ****ing coconuts. Coconuts! Those are nature's cannonballs!

By the way, if seized by a Coconut Crab, experts suggest that "gentle titillation of the under soft parts of the body with any light material will cause the crab to lose its hold." That's right: The best way to get this enormous, amphibious, cannonball-eating tank-spider to release its death grip is to tickle its junk with a feather.
We doubt that's even an automatic reflex, the crab probably just thinks it's funny to watch you demean yourself for its amusement.

Apparently, they climb up coconut trees, take a coconut and break it open! My mom said she's seen them in her home country on one of her cousin's coconut trees!

***Kombatant*** · Aug 21, 2009, 11:33 AM

Holy

Zero · Aug 21, 2009, 11:39 AM

I found all of them to look pretty cool except that underwater bug thing...

bete · Aug 21, 2009, 12:00 PM

The Lion's Mane Jellyfish, pictured here with its only natural predator: Gravity.

We'd like to tell you it's harmless, we really would. We would love to tell you that the worst thing that could happen is that you get slimed by something that looks like a giant exploding testicle, but we can't lie to you...

Supra_Freak · Aug 21, 2009, 02:43 PM

I love that website, freakin hillarious!!

dreamwalker · Aug 21, 2009, 03:21 PM

Yeah Cracked.com articles are in my favourites. Grew up with the magazine, now read this

lumpyhed · Aug 21, 2009, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zero

I found all of them to look pretty cool except that underwater bug thing...

Thats nothing, they had one as big as a car back in teh Carboniferous period...on land!

Scott · Aug 21, 2009, 08:54 PM

From the same site.... http://www.cracked.com/video_17748_n...-emotions.html

Not that I ever respected her, but ever since the presumption of guilt displayed at the end of that clip I've though she's a reprehensible douche.

Aug 21, 2009, 11:28 AM	#1	Advertisement (Guests Only) Login or Register to remove this ad
Hidavi owns harder than you Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Brooklyn Posts: 19,736	7 Terrifying Giant Versions of Scary Critters http://www.cracked.com/article_17579...-critters.html Also, coconut crabs are awesome!!! Holy **! Is it Dangerous? OK, none of those three crabs are typically a threat to people, but we assume that's only because of their lack of organization. The coconut crab, for example, is so named because it uses its claws to tear open ing coconuts. Coconuts! Those are nature's cannonballs! By the way, if seized by a Coconut Crab, experts suggest that "gentle titillation of the under soft parts of the body with any light material will cause the crab to lose its hold." That's right: The best way to get this enormous, amphibious, cannonball-eating tank-spider to release its death grip is to tickle its junk with a feather. We doubt that's even an automatic reflex, the crab probably just thinks it's funny to watch you demean yourself for its amusement. Apparently, they climb up coconut trees, take a coconut and break it open! My mom said she's seen them in her home country on one of her cousin's coconut trees! __________________ Now Playing:** Oblivion: Game of the Year Edition (X360) Hotel Dusk 215 (DS) Last edited by Hidavi : Aug 21, 2009 at 11:34 AM.

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Aug 21, 2009, 11:33 AM	#2
*Kombatant* K to the max!™ Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Athens, Hellas Posts: 15,502	Holy __________________ There is no spoon... Rage3D // Kombatant's Lair

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Aug 21, 2009, 11:39 AM	#3
Zero Take it... and go. Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Toronto Posts: 19,477	I found all of them to look pretty cool except that underwater bug thing... __________________ Attaching the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance since 1980.

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Aug 21, 2009, 12:00 PM	#4
bete Huh? Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 6,887	The Lion's Mane Jellyfish, pictured here with its only natural predator: Gravity. We'd like to tell you it's harmless, we really would. We would love to tell you that the worst thing that could happen is that you get slimed by something that looks like a giant exploding testicle, but we can't lie to you... __________________ "If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?" (Albert Einstein)

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Aug 21, 2009, 02:43 PM	#5
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Aug 21, 2009, 03:21 PM	#6
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Aug 21, 2009, 08:54 PM	#8
Scott I like my backyard Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: in mah howse! Posts: 8,860	From the same site.... http://www.cracked.com/video_17748_n...-emotions.html Not that I ever respected her, but ever since the presumption of guilt displayed at the end of that clip I've though she's a reprehensible douche. __________________ I got a pair of tweezers, a can of air, and some bacardi :\ - sittal

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