You want to be regarded as an exiting and interesting personality able to persuade others to comply with your beliefs and ideas. You are charming and able to influence other people who come into your sphere of influence. You like mental stimulation and you are the sort of person who is prepared to "try anything once". Your confidence is so much so that others are often swept away by your enthusiasm.
You "need to be needed". As an idealist you are intolerant of anything short special consideration from those close to you. If you do not get what you seek you are apt to become reclusive and you will close the doors of all those within your sphere of influence.
Enough is enough ... But the problems never seem to stop. They never stop.. You feel, and maybe you are right, that the problems seem to go on and on ...and you have indeed had more than your fair share of trials and tribulations. But to give you credit ...You bounce back - Time again and again.... you stick to your beliefs because deep down you have that inner knowledge, that "belief" system that in the end -everything will turn out OK...and you are right....it will !
You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all ... The existing situation is not of your liking. You have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others ... and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of "total surrender". This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome; You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able can you maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence "you need to be needed" ... and at the same time... .."you need to need".
You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality