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-   -   Hapa's Legendary Year Update. (http://www.rage3d.com/board/showthread.php?t=34050336)

Hapatingjaky Dec 2, 2019 08:04 PM

Hapa's Legendary Year Update.
 
Sup gays,

Thought I'd post an update to my situation that's been going on over the past year. Didn't want to Hijack Higgy's Trolling For Crazy thread.

As many of you know I got involved with a psycho at work, which was a huge mistake. This in turn led to a massive amount of Drama.

Since June things got a lot worse. I lost a lot of friends and respect for the people at work. She involved everyone at the shop, which led to a lot of people showing their true colors. The owner really turned on me, everyone here has heard the stories over the years but this is a new level of hate. And like I've said I've resorted to recording conversations and yes I do have a GoPro setup at work now because of the intimidation and bullying that goes on at the shop. The owners wife knows about it as I've been now discussing it with her. The owner has mellowed out because he was caught verbally beating me down on the GoPro. He is now going to courses to control it but things at the shop were downright horrible.

In July I met someone, my neighbor. Extremely beautiful and it happened on the July long weekend. She had lost her dog back in February same time that the psycho at work started in on me. He dog was like her son, being the lonely person that she was she lost her dog to cancer and it destroyed her. But I helped her through it. In July we started dating and things were good. But I always had that feeling in the back of my mind that something was up. How could someone as Fugly as me end up with someone as smoking hawt as her? More on this later.

I've worked things out with my family, gave them an ultimatum that they either work as a team to achieve our goals or everyone goes their separate ways. I've now purchased a new house for everyone, 3500 SqFT home in Webber Greens. With a separate entrance for a basement suite for me. Its sound proofed so I don't have to hear ****. Everyone will split the cost of the house and bills. And things are looking up in that regard.

Back in October things hit bottom, after losing more family members to cancer and things getting pretty bad at work. I decided to take some advice and see a professional. A councilor at my family doctor, I started taking some medication to help. Now its not uppers and downers but its something to help with being able to deal with situations. The best way I can describe this is the movie/TV show Limitless. That's how I feel when I take it. At the same time that I started seeing this professional I got really sick. People at work couldn't believe how sick I was. Things got progressively worse where I would be getting massive headaches and bleeding noses. For the last month I've been for 4 MRI's, last one being last week. I was diagnosed with Hydrocephalus, which I still think is bullshit because the symptoms I have do not match what the "disease" is. Basically its a buildup of fluid in the brain. It typically occurs in infants and people 60 years of age or older. But it does occur in other age groups although rare. They weren't sure if it was over production of CSF or not draining properly. My condition is not serious...... yet.... And I don't know if it will get worse. I started with a chiropractor and a massage at my doctors request to hopefully unblock or help the fluid draing. The chiropractor helped for 30 minutes as the pain went away. After 30 minutes the pain came back like a mother ****er. I've been for 3 massages, each time getting extremely nauseous after each but the pain remains. I've been on Tylenol 4 which does nothing. Even to the point I was given sleeping pills to help me sleep but again they do noting. I am lucky to get an 3 hours a night right now. My family and my GF found out 2 weeks ago right before my GF decided to disappear for 4 months on me....

Back on November 20th she left for the UK. She had told me and her mom that she was going away for 2 weeks to see a friend in the UK. As I said in Higgy's thread she let us know that she'd be going away now for 4 months and that she was staying with a guy she met only a year ago.... You know how I felt about this. So I broke up with her. She obviously didn't get the clue as she called me last night, told me she's ok and misses me and and she loves me so I hung up on her.

I'm not an asshole ( maybe to people on this forum ). But everyone tells me that I'm a gentleman, that I'd give the shirt off my back to help somone etc etc. But **** me, how much worse can my life get? I went for another MRI last week and another blood test, even had a physical. My blood pressure is fine, my cholestorol is fine, my heart rate is fine. My blood test shows high white cell count that I am fighting off something. Haven't heard back from the MRI yet last week and I have yet another appointment for the Hydrocephalus on Thursday...

KAC Dec 2, 2019 08:25 PM

Woah dude. Wish you best of luck and health. Take it easy.

Greasy Dec 2, 2019 08:49 PM

**** the women, but man I hope they find out what's up with your health. My Aunt went from good to go to in the ICU for two weeks after she had a massive seizure. She has brain tumors, and the surgery that was suppose to be simple, has really screwed her up. Hope to God your's is nothing like that man. :heart:

SubCog Dec 2, 2019 10:33 PM

Hook up with the councilor! I bet she's super hawt!

Good luck with your health stuff. Nothing's right when your health is bad.

pax Dec 3, 2019 01:25 AM

Goddamn dude. Hope you get a better decade starting next year. The last one has been ****.

Hapatingjaky Dec 3, 2019 06:21 AM

Its just been getting worse and worse. 2 months ago when I started to get the headaches and the nose bleeds started shortly after I thought hmmmm something is wrong. I have some options for treatment if things get worse.

Chiropractor / Massage which I've already tried.

Over production of CFS can be managed by medication.

If its not over production and its a draining problem I have 2 options. First is they can go in and unclog if its blocked. Which would be awesome but knowing my luck its option number 2. They put a stent in to the brain down to either the chest cavity or abdomen. From what I've been told this may require surgeries over my life to re-adjust the stent over time. And can have other complications.

This coupled with the depression and anxiety brought on by being involved with someone who I thought was my friend, people turning on me who I thought were friends and losing family members again has really taken its toll. I even found out recently that the psycho from work not only was dating the child molester that we hired and fired but she also was sleeping with a sales rep from a company that buys from us. Turns out it ended badly and she started calling the company he works for telling anyone that he sexually assaulted her. He came in yelling at the owner about her. And he's also filed a police report against her. Yet she still kept her job. Now she banging a guy that works downstairs in another shop in the building. The guy is not allowed upstairs in our shop and she's not allowed downstairs in their shop because of **** they've pulled. So they go out in to the parking lot and makeout during work hours.... :bleh: Thank God I didn't go any further with her then I did....

I just don't know though anymore, can't seem to catch a break and when I do I have to question it.

Lazy8s Dec 3, 2019 07:19 AM

I don't have any advice for you Hapa, just a sincere hope that you get some relief, soon.

huskylord Dec 3, 2019 08:31 AM

Definitely prioritize your health, both physical and mental.

Ease up on the relationship drama for now. You got to learn not to **** where you eat....stop dating co-workers, neighbours, etc. Put that in the past until your health start to improve.

Hapatingjaky Dec 3, 2019 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by huskylord (Post 1338164576)
Definitely prioritize your health, both physical and mental.

Ease up on the relationship drama for now. You got to learn not to **** where you eat....stop dating co-workers, neighbours, etc. Put that in the past until your health start to improve.

The relationship Drama is what it is. I made the mistake of getting involved with the psycho which I should never have done. My neighbor on the other hand we've known each other 33 years and we've hung out a lot so its was nice. Until she went nuts, she even called me here this morning 10 minutes ago from the UK saying she's not having a good time and she's thinking of coming home now. I lol'd, didn't even make it two weeks...

Headache yesterday was massive though, nothing I take can make it go away so I've stopped taking the pain meds. Tried some CBD oil last night but it did nothing...

Little better this morning but I get it in waves, where it subsides for a bit then surges back up and then subsides again.

acroig Dec 3, 2019 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hapatingjaky (Post 1338164568)
Its just been getting worse and worse. 2 months ago when I started to get the headaches and the nose bleeds started shortly after I thought hmmmm something is wrong. I have some options for treatment if things get worse.

Sounds to me like a combination of anxiety and panic attacks.

I have spoken...

Athena Dec 3, 2019 09:29 AM

Praying for you Hap. Hope you can find some peace, May the Lord be with you.

acroig Dec 3, 2019 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Athena (Post 1338164589)
Praying for you Hap. Hope you can find some peace, May the Lord be with you.

Seconded.

Kain Dec 3, 2019 09:58 AM

Sorry to hear and hope things turn out better soon.

xCLAVEx Dec 3, 2019 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hapatingjaky (Post 1338164519)
Sup gays,

Thought I'd post an update to my situation that's been going on over the past year. Didn't want to Hijack Higgy's Trolling For Crazy thread.

As many of you know I got involved with a psycho at work, which was a huge mistake. This in turn led to a massive amount of Drama.

Since June things got a lot worse. I lost a lot of friends and respect for the people at work. She involved everyone at the shop, which led to a lot of people showing their true colors. The owner really turned on me, everyone here has heard the stories over the years but this is a new level of hate. And like I've said I've resorted to recording conversations and yes I do have a GoPro setup at work now because of the intimidation and bullying that goes on at the shop. The owners wife knows about it as I've been now discussing it with her. The owner has mellowed out because he was caught verbally beating me down on the GoPro. He is now going to courses to control it but things at the shop were downright horrible.

In July I met someone, my neighbor. Extremely beautiful and it happened on the July long weekend. She had lost her dog back in February same time that the psycho at work started in on me. He dog was like her son, being the lonely person that she was she lost her dog to cancer and it destroyed her. But I helped her through it. In July we started dating and things were good. But I always had that feeling in the back of my mind that something was up. How could someone as Fugly as me end up with someone as smoking hawt as her? More on this later.

I've worked things out with my family, gave them an ultimatum that they either work as a team to achieve our goals or everyone goes their separate ways. I've now purchased a new house for everyone, 3500 SqFT home in Webber Greens. With a separate entrance for a basement suite for me. Its sound proofed so I don't have to hear ****. Everyone will split the cost of the house and bills. And things are looking up in that regard.

Back in October things hit bottom, after losing more family members to cancer and things getting pretty bad at work. I decided to take some advice and see a professional. A councilor at my family doctor, I started taking some medication to help. Now its not uppers and downers but its something to help with being able to deal with situations. The best way I can describe this is the movie/TV show Limitless. That's how I feel when I take it. At the same time that I started seeing this professional I got really sick. People at work couldn't believe how sick I was. Things got progressively worse where I would be getting massive headaches and bleeding noses. For the last month I've been for 4 MRI's, last one being last week. I was diagnosed with Hydrocephalus, which I still think is bullshit because the symptoms I have do not match what the "disease" is. Basically its a buildup of fluid in the brain. It typically occurs in infants and people 60 years of age or older. But it does occur in other age groups although rare. They weren't sure if it was over production of CSF or not draining properly. My condition is not serious...... yet.... And I don't know if it will get worse. I started with a chiropractor and a massage at my doctors request to hopefully unblock or help the fluid draing. The chiropractor helped for 30 minutes as the pain went away. After 30 minutes the pain came back like a mother ****er. I've been for 3 massages, each time getting extremely nauseous after each but the pain remains. I've been on Tylenol 4 which does nothing. Even to the point I was given sleeping pills to help me sleep but again they do noting. I am lucky to get an 3 hours a night right now. My family and my GF found out 2 weeks ago right before my GF decided to disappear for 4 months on me....

Back on November 20th she left for the UK. She had told me and her mom that she was going away for 2 weeks to see a friend in the UK. As I said in Higgy's thread she let us know that she'd be going away now for 4 months and that she was staying with a guy she met only a year ago.... You know how I felt about this. So I broke up with her. She obviously didn't get the clue as she called me last night, told me she's ok and misses me and and she loves me so I hung up on her.

I'm not an asshole ( maybe to people on this forum ). But everyone tells me that I'm a gentleman, that I'd give the shirt off my back to help somone etc etc. But **** me, how much worse can my life get? I went for another MRI last week and another blood test, even had a physical. My blood pressure is fine, my cholestorol is fine, my heart rate is fine. My blood test shows high white cell count that I am fighting off something. Haven't heard back from the MRI yet last week and I have yet another appointment for the Hydrocephalus on Thursday...


I'm no expert, but from what I've read high white blood cell count with no obvious infection usually indicates cancer...:eek: Hope that is not the case for you!

As for your job situation the solution is simple; FIND-ANOTHER-JOB. I was in a very toxic work environment like you were (though in my case it was the boss himself, not the workers but wow...this asshole was something else) and I finally had enough after 5 years and have moved on to a completely different job and it is far more manageable here. The hilarious part of it all was he panicked when I put in my two weeks and even tried to bribe me to stay by offering me $1000 bonus :lol:. No, my sanity is worth much more than that sorry.

My new boss is fantastic and understanding and I can actually talk to him. I also don't have to deal with warehouse bullshit anymore and that's a plus as I'm now in full IT instead of just partial. Anyways, find another place to work at least for your mental sanity and things will improve quite rapidly in that regard.

As for the woman...yeah she's damaged goods, obviously untrustworthy and probably being plowed while telling you she still loves you. Yeah she's full of **** but you at least already know that.

MasterGoa Dec 3, 2019 05:13 PM

That is a hell of a story.

Keep seeing your therapist, unless you feel it doesn't click at which point you can
try another to get a different perspective.

Good luck with your headaches. My only advice is drink lots of water but that may not
even be a good idea in your case...

SubCog Dec 3, 2019 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MasterGoa (Post 1338164686)
Keep boning your therapist, unless you feel it doesn't click at which point you can
try another to get a different position.

Fixed!

Hapatingjaky Dec 4, 2019 06:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SubCog (Post 1338164719)
Fixed!

lulz.

Its not water issue on the brain, its CSF or Cerebral Spinal Fluid. I don't drink alcohol, I don't smoke and I don't use drugs. The issue, there is an over abundance which causes pressure in the head and on the brain. They don't know if its over production or that its not being absorbed or drained properly.

Still haven't heard anything back yet on the MRI from last week. If its blurry again then nothing has worked yet. Next step is to insert the wire and see if they can clear the ventricles if its blocked. Problem is even with the high contrast dye they can't see if its blocked or not, they need to have some of the excess CFS drain. Otherwise its surgery.

I've also been told that the pain will not go away entirely, and that I may deal with chronic pain for the rest of my life.


Greasy Dec 4, 2019 07:12 AM

One of my youngest daughter's friends has a shunt for that same reason. It really limits what she can do physically as far as sports and stuff like that. Not sure if that's just because she's so young, but I really hope they can just clear those vents/drains out for you man.

MasterGoa Dec 4, 2019 07:27 AM

I assume you have discussed your work situation with your therapist.

What are your thoughts?
You yourself must realize how draining it is and you can't keep at it until you die...

Having said this, nice to hear you got an arrangement house wise where your
adult family members actually have adult responsibilities.

Hapatingjaky Dec 4, 2019 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greasy (Post 1338164775)
One of my youngest daughter's friends has a shunt for that same reason. It really limits what she can do physically as far as sports and stuff like that. Not sure if that's just because she's so young, but I really hope they can just clear those vents/drains out for you man.

Yeah I really don't want to go the shunt route as it impacts my daily life as I work in a physical environment. I wouldn't be able to take a job that was physical in nature.

The other issue is the elevated white cell count. Since they can't get a clear picture of the brain due to the fluid build up there could also be something hiding there. One of the causes of hydrocephalus is tumors.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MasterGoa (Post 1338164778)
I assume you have discussed your work situation with your therapist.

What are your thoughts?
You yourself must realize how draining it is and you can't keep at it until you die...

Having said this, nice to hear you got an arrangement house wise where your
adult family members actually have adult responsibilities.

First time I saw her and explained what was going on I played her an audio recording of the owner and I when I brought up issues on the shop floor that were impacting job completion and he lost it on me. I've shown her video etc and she says its Bullying, Harassment and Intimidation, why would you stay there? With the economy as ****ed as it is I am lucky to have a job. I've been looking hard but since buying the house I really don't want to start a new job right now.

As for discussing the psycho with her at work even she's told me that I dodged a bullet with that one. You guys should've have seen the stuff that went on this week with her... I've seen porn stars who have more morals then her.

Now we are working on dealing with the situations in my life, how to cope with treatment at work, dealing with my "romantic relationships" ( trying to notice and avoid the crazies before getting involved ).

I'm just drained... Physical issues coupled with the emotional/mental pain thats's been going on in the last year. If I don't get some answers soon I may just call it quits. If I get diagnosed with cancer or the hydrocephalus stays the same or gets worse I may not seek treatment. I'm just exhausted....

acroig Dec 4, 2019 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hapatingjaky (Post 1338164794)
I'm just drained... Physical issues coupled with the emotional/mental pain thats's been going on in the last year. If I don't get some answers soon I may just call it quits. If I get diagnosed with cancer or the hydrocephalus stays the same or gets worse I may not seek treatment. I'm just exhausted....

Hapa, hang in there. Don't call it quits until you make radical changes, even if you have to move to Australia to get away from it all.

Nunz Dec 4, 2019 09:15 AM

That job is killing you more than you realize. The mind affects the body brother.

I'm not going to post and rag on you, but I will say that you have had AMPLE opportunity to find a new job, and you've always given an excuse. You've done this for years. All of this going on and your health falling apart is directly related to this stupid ****ing job.

I hope and pray your medical stuff swings the other way. If you ever need to vent, shoot me a message. Don't give in and call it quits when you still have options.

Take this time to reflect and plan what you want to do in the future. Take some time off from work. Talk to the boss' wife about your medical diagnosis. You need to be given some leeway here.

acroig Dec 4, 2019 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nunz (Post 1338164808)
That job is killing you more than you realize. The mind affects the body brother.

This.

Athena Dec 4, 2019 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hapatingjaky (Post 1338164772)
lulz.

Its not water issue on the brain, its CSF or Cerebral Spinal Fluid. I don't drink alcohol, I don't smoke and I don't use drugs. The issue, there is an over abundance which causes pressure in the head and on the brain. They don't know if its over production or that its not being absorbed or drained properly.

Still haven't heard anything back yet on the MRI from last week. If its blurry again then nothing has worked yet. Next step is to insert the wire and see if they can clear the ventricles if its blocked. Problem is even with the high contrast dye they can't see if its blocked or not, they need to have some of the excess CFS drain. Otherwise its surgery.

I've also been told that the pain will not go away entirely, and that I may deal with chronic pain for the rest of my life.

My God-mother just got back home after having a stint put in her head last weekend to vent CFS from her head. Her surgery went well. I hope they can clear your with out the surgery but if they do have to do that she was out of the hospital in just a day. I pray it goes that easy for you as well and the pain does go away. No need for chronic pain. Take it from someone that has had it for over 40 years and survived a bad year. Do everything you can to avoid this road!! Life is awesome and beautiful, full of great things like the jerks at Rage. Love you man.

PS drop that job as soon as you can. It will do you good in the long term. :cool:

Android1 Dec 4, 2019 10:53 PM

Hapatingjaky, if you have an obstruction, you might be a candidate for endoscopic third ventriculostomy. With that surgery, you would have a lower risk for long-term complications because no foreign bodies would have to be implanted in your body. See the links below.

Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center
National Institutes of Health
University of Rochester Medical Center

Hapatingjaky Dec 5, 2019 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nunz (Post 1338164808)
That job is killing you more than you realize. The mind affects the body brother.

I'm not going to post and rag on you, but I will say that you have had AMPLE opportunity to find a new job, and you've always given an excuse. You've done this for years. All of this going on and your health falling apart is directly related to this stupid ****ing job.

I hope and pray your medical stuff swings the other way. If you ever need to vent, shoot me a message. Don't give in and call it quits when you still have options.

Take this time to reflect and plan what you want to do in the future. Take some time off from work. Talk to the boss' wife about your medical diagnosis. You need to be given some leeway here.

Its not like I am going to commit suicide or something like that, that's the chicken **** way out. I'm just looking ahead, and after all this **** started with everything going on its just steadily getting worse.

And I know what you are saying, the stress from the job, couple with the psycho, the family and now the exGF stuck in the UK calling me telling me she misses me weighs heavily and it adds to the medical issue. I know this and you gays are not the only ones telling me to quit my job.

This afternoon I have my appointments to do, one at 2:00pm and another at 4:00pm. Should find out the results of the MRI. But I need to ask a few questions:

Is the condition severe?

If not is it going too get worse?

If not, can I live with the pain and not go through with surgery?

Should I buy more 2080Ti's?

If I don't have to do the surgery and I can just tough through it then I might. I don't really want a titanium plug in my head, or have to re-adjust my life style because I have to take it easy with a shunt. I could do the wire method but that has its own complications.

I actually had a couple days off recently, went to Kelowna with my homie and his GF ( sucked as I am always the third wheel ). Went sky diving and ****, but the headaches I had there were massive.

I'm getting a week off at Shitmas, but its going to be spent packing for the move to the new house.

Nunz Dec 5, 2019 08:28 AM

Try to take it easy and let other people carry the load. I'd try to stay away from physical labor as much as possible so you can avoid things that will stress you out. Mentally and physically..

Hey man, at least you didn't have to brush your teeth today with a hotel facial soap bar. Cause I was forced to do that this morning :lol:

Evileh Dec 5, 2019 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KAC (Post 1338164526)
Woah dude. Wish you best of luck and health. Take it easy.

Don't mean to hijack the thread but you know allll about my story... Makes these look tame lol.

Hapatingjaky Dec 5, 2019 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nunz (Post 1338164969)
Try to take it easy and let other people carry the load. I'd try to stay away from physical labor as much as possible so you can avoid things that will stress you out. Mentally and physically..

Hey man, at least you didn't have to brush your teeth today with a hotel facial soap bar. Cause I was forced to do that this morning :lol:

Could be worse, you could use semen like KAC :D

xCLAVEx Dec 5, 2019 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nunz (Post 1338164808)
That job is killing you more than you realize. The mind affects the body brother.

I'm not going to post and rag on you, but I will say that you have had AMPLE opportunity to find a new job, and you've always given an excuse. You've done this for years. All of this going on and your health falling apart is directly related to this stupid ****ing job.

I hope and pray your medical stuff swings the other way. If you ever need to vent, shoot me a message. Don't give in and call it quits when you still have options.

Take this time to reflect and plan what you want to do in the future. Take some time off from work. Talk to the boss' wife about your medical diagnosis. You need to be given some leeway here.

There is truth to this. When I was at my previous highly toxic job, it affected every aspect of my life. I was physically fit because of the nature of the job, but the mental drain of constantly worrying that the boss was going to scream at you or somebody else for...you know...DOING YOUR JOB was exhausting (he would often just absolutely rip into some co-workers screaming and cussing and telling them they are worthless RIGHT IN FRONT OF CLIENTS!). I hate bullies so that infuriated me. When I got out, I felt relief after just a few weeks (once I started to get settled into new job) and mentally, it's much healthier where I am now.

Do the same Hapts. It is scary leaving the devil you know for one you don't, but you have skills, experience, and know-how that somebody out there could use you. Just fish around and go to a few interviews, and get started now because it took me months before I found something I liked (had a few offers but none fit at first). The advantage you have now is you already have a job so you don't have to rush it and you can be picky.

Higgy10 Dec 5, 2019 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nunz (Post 1338164969)
Hey man, at least you didn't have to brush your teeth today with a hotel facial soap bar. Cause I was forced to do that this morning :lol:

hehe well thats better than institutional tooth paste/glue

hap take care of your health, job is useless without it

and if you want, dont buy 2080ti. Come for a road trip to ontario and ill personally see to it that we get you a roman style orgy and relieve some stress

acroig Dec 5, 2019 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hapatingjaky (Post 1338164971)
Could be worse, you could use semen like KAC :D

LOL! Keep up the sense of humor.

Hapatingjaky Dec 6, 2019 06:18 AM

So things didn't go well at the appointments yesterday. Have another scheduled for next week. Nothing has changed basically. But at this point its not going to kill me and I am reluctant to do surgery if it isn't. I will know more of the surgical options next week but it could be months before I do the surgery even if I do it.

Saw Phsyciatrist/Therapist/Councilor/Whatever right after. As she explained that finding someone this day in age is a lot more difficult then it used to be. She even said Women are just crazy now, especially in my age group. Coming from her that's just strange. But as she explained coupled with your situation at work and at home and now with the diagnosis it will be difficult. Gave me some **** to read and to make attainable goals and work on self motivation blah blah blah. I just have no drive to do anything anymore. Nothing I do makes me happy at all.

Got home, mom immediately told me that I blame her for my situation. Can't see how. All night screaming and yelling is all I heard. Got no sleep again, only about 2 hours....

acroig Dec 6, 2019 10:03 AM

From what you've told us you have a toxic environment at home and at work. You need a major life change, IMHO.

Nunz Dec 6, 2019 11:40 AM

I'm sorry man but you have got to make a major change eventually. You can't keep doing the same things and expecting different results; your family has done this for a while and so has the job..

Cyko Dec 6, 2019 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nunz (Post 1338165136)
I'm sorry man but you have got to make a major change eventually. You can't keep doing the same things and expecting different results; your family has done this for a while and so has the job..

I love my mom, but if she constantly pulled sh*t like that even after warning her it's affecting me - she's out. Hate my job, but it doesn't make me miserable like yours does.

I'd rather have a job washing dishes and live out of a box than deal with all that bullshit you're going through.

Nunz is 100% correct, "you can't keep doing the same things and expecting different results."

MasterGoa Dec 7, 2019 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hapatingjaky (Post 1338165108)
So things didn't go well at the appointments yesterday. Have another scheduled for next week. Nothing has changed basically. But at this point its not going to kill me and I am reluctant to do surgery if it isn't. I will know more of the surgical options next week but it could be months before I do the surgery even if I do it.

Saw Phsyciatrist/Therapist/Councilor/Whatever right after. As she explained that finding someone this day in age is a lot more difficult then it used to be. She even said Women are just crazy now, especially in my age group. Coming from her that's just strange. But as she explained coupled with your situation at work and at home and now with the diagnosis it will be difficult. Gave me some **** to read and to make attainable goals and work on self motivation blah blah blah. I just have no drive to do anything anymore. Nothing I do makes me happy at all.

Got home, mom immediately told me that I blame her for my situation. Can't see how. All night screaming and yelling is all I heard. Got no sleep again, only about 2 hours....

Do you time or energy to read a good book?

gamefoo21 Dec 8, 2019 05:28 PM

Well I know a guy who's not even 40 and he woke up with no use of his arms, because of the spinal fluid build up.

They ended up having to drill a hole in his skull and install an automatic drain. He says it's the best he's felt in years and his mood has really changed.

I feel for you, but hopefully they can fix whatever is wrong, and it gives you a good place to start from.

Ziklitschli Dec 11, 2019 07:20 AM

First, thoroughly check the literature about those medications that you took (are taking?), you wouldn't believe how much serious non written **** happens from prescribed meds. If you're still taking it, write me a PM, maybe I can help.

You seem to fear cancer/ tumors but if you had it and was non malignant/ treatable, you could get better and avoid surgey maybe? Stupid wildguess here just to show that it's too early to despair imo.

Your attitude towards surgery is correct, I had MRI that was read wrong both by the technician writing the report and by the specialist. Sometimes, health isues emerge from dumbest causes like drinking too much milk or resting the knee wrong or whatever. Take second (and third if necessary) opinion, weigh your options and ofc you can always do it. Keep in mind that while its best to avoid surgery if possible, most people get better from those medical procedures and you can have complications from eating salad.

Ignore the girls atm, start going to the mountains maybe? Not mt Logan or sth heh but some easy trails, low/ medium intensity workout in nature works wonders for body and mind, nothing better to clear the mind for sure and I checked all the options in life heh. Ask the doctor first though, might be a problem with raising pressure in the head but tbh, there is no condition that allows you to work but doesn't allow you to take a light trek.

Hapatingjaky Dec 11, 2019 08:13 AM

I see a specialist today. Taking a half day at work and I'm going to treat myself to a nice lunch beforehand. Brought all the medication with me for them to go over.

Will be going over treatment and surgical options. Again if it's not going to kill me and it's not going to get worse I may choose to just deal with the pain. That said last Friday the headache was so bad when I got home after work laid down in bed and past out. Kept getting up every hour not due to the pain, I just wake up. Family kept checking on me to make sure I was still alive. And that was pretty much my weekend.

Then the lady friend that took off too the UK showed up. Yep, like I guessed she lasted 3 weeks ish instead of 4 months. Said she made a mistake , told her to **** off.

Headaches been pretty bad this morning. Unfortunately it's like -69c right now. I took my monster rig apart and cleaned everything out. It's been relaxing doing that. I might build an AMD system now just for the hell of it. Thinking a 3800x, 32gb ram and a 5700.


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