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DorXtar
Jun 5, 2003, 01:34 AM
EDIT: I guess I neglected to mention that I pulled this off of a site, as this is not my work or life.

"Body Pillow...

I have plotted and schemed to make my girlfriend (now wife) jealous for my own diabolical reasons (Side Note: I'm the Evil Twin, Bloo-Ha-Ha).
However, I am not satisfied that she be jealous of another woman, oh no! I have conspired to make her jealous of an inanimate object! Namely, Body Pillow!

I have often cold-shouldered her in favor of hugging my Body Pillow, I have arrived at her house with Body Pillow strapped in the front seat (upright position, of course. The personification of Body Pillow is most important in this maniacal scheme) and made her sit in the back.

I extol body pillow's virtues above her own, i.e.: "Body Pillow never nags me"; "Body Pillow like the way I dress"; "Body Pillow would never watch TV all night long".

When we moved into our new home together, I carried Body Pillow across the threshold. The pay-off is when she gets really angry and tosses Body Pillow around the room, baring her teeth and growling like a wild feral creature. Such lapses in common sense and decorum amuse me to no end!

Long live Body Pillow! BLOO-HA-HA! Ha."

Body Pillow... (http://www.dailyconfession.com/display.asp)

I can't be married. I'm still a virgin... :drool:

Gun5
Jun 5, 2003, 01:36 AM
:bleh: :bleh: :bleh:

Robotzombie
Jun 5, 2003, 01:44 AM
:lol: :lol: :lol:

EDIT: That is one of the best posts I've read in a LONG time! :D
EDIT2: Another benefit, I went to that link and found this story:
I Defiled The Choir Director's Son!

"Okay, I'm a good Baptist girl. I always made it a point to do the right thing and be an example to the other teenagers in my church. This thing happened over five years ago, but, I still feel really bad about it!
I had sex with my boyfriend (the choir director's son-and a virgin) in the storage closet at church one night. Another night we had sex in one of the Sunday school rooms. And, more than once we had sex in the parking lot.

I don't regret it or anything, because it was great sex. But, I feel horrible and just needed to get it out.

Every time I come home from college, and go to church, I look at that closet and feel like God is just shaking his head."

HOT!

digitalwanderer
Jun 5, 2003, 01:48 AM
...what's a "body pillow"? :hmm:

Gun5
Jun 5, 2003, 01:50 AM
Originally posted by digitalwanderer
...what's a "body pillow"? :hmm:

I bet its one of those real life sized sex things :o :bleh:

Clockwork
Jun 5, 2003, 01:51 AM
Originally posted by digitalwanderer
...what's a "body pillow"? :hmm:

It's one of those really long pillows. Sometimes they are regular shaped, sometimes they are tube shaped.

Robotzombie
Jun 5, 2003, 01:51 AM
Originally posted by Clockwork
It's one of those really long pillows. Sometimes they are regular shaped, sometimes they are tube shaped.

Do they have glory holes?

Clockwork
Jun 5, 2003, 01:53 AM
Originally posted by Robotzombie
Do they have glory holes?

NO!

Everytime someone menions a glory hole, I can't help but think of Scary Movie.....that scene in the theater bathroom was great. Heh.

FiggyG
Jun 5, 2003, 02:51 AM
:hmm: :hmm: :hmm:

:lol: :lol: :lol: Why the hell make her jealous anyway? Well, that's pretty funny (in a demented sort of way). Mmmm... I'm gonna go sleep on my body pillow and hug my girlfriend :D Good night gentlemen :drool:

Vengeance
Jun 5, 2003, 03:17 AM
My wife is allready jealous of my PC, She call's it "The other woman" :rolleyes: :p

Kombatant
Jun 5, 2003, 04:17 AM
Originally posted by DooM_BHO
My wife is allready jealous of my PC, She call's it "The other woman" :rolleyes: :p

Seconded :lol:

Hanners
Jun 5, 2003, 04:34 AM
Originally posted by digitalwanderer
...what's a "body pillow"? :hmm:

I think the name is pretty self-explanatory... :bleh:

;)

the_Vandal
Jun 5, 2003, 04:38 AM
I know what would make her jelous. You could tie her to a chair and make her watch you and your mistress spank each other with large trout.

UFO
Jun 5, 2003, 04:40 AM
You should chat with a lot of chicks with your wife noticing that.

hobs0n
Jun 5, 2003, 05:27 AM
me like de baptist girrl... :) :drool: another good idea is to lick ur komputar m0use.. but then you would get all kinds of diseases :( ;)

Shikatanai
Jun 5, 2003, 05:47 AM
If that doesn't get her pissed then just slip a small chip of chocolate between her cheeks while she's sleeping. It'll melt and when she wakes up she'll think she she followed through during the night :evil:

DorXtar
Jun 5, 2003, 08:09 AM
I guess some of you are confused as to the source of my post. I am not married, the material is a quote.

Jackl
Jun 5, 2003, 10:54 AM
ROFL!@!!!!!!!!

I don't think I have ever see such a hiliarious site!!!!!!

First on the side is a "Find singles banner" of a "confession" site!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Man, theres also a ton of messed up stories in there as well:

confess I have been reading these confessions all day and there were so many cheating confessions it just blew me away!

I have been married since I was 14 (it's legal in my state) and I love my husband so much it hurts (I am now 34)!

I also confess that I was surprised that most of the cheating confessions were from females - I will never stereotype against the male sex again or say that 'all men are dogs'.......they aren't!



Obviously from Kentucky/Alabama/other sterotypical state:D